


Forever You and I

by kaspsass



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (like if you be soulmates you be reincarnated), Alternate Universe - 1920s, Angst, F/F, Fluff, I know it says major character death but i swear the boys are ok, I tried lmao, M/M, Reincarnation, Royalty, Soulmates, Tags May Change, i only did the first chapter and i got another fic but, i'm gonna still invest my time here too sooo, kind of???, this took me a little over a week so thats cool, why do i insist on making jeremy suffer??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaspsass/pseuds/kaspsass
Summary: Showing Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell's different lives together, in little to no particular order.





	1. First Life

**Author's Note:**

> Who said i can only write angst about my boy Jeremy?? they be right.

Life inside of the castle was not all what people made of it. The rock walls of Jeremy’s home seemed enchanting to wandering eyes, it seemed like the castle itself had a life of it’s own, with lavish parties every so often, mainly every night that was an occasion seemed suitable for parties. Jeremy here has been a bachelor for far too long, as his mother would put it. She put it harsher than that, and her cold words seemed to slap Jeremy across the face. Jeremy wondered if he would ever be freed from the clutches of the Queen, the true ruler of his homeland. Jeremy pondered if he just did what she wished, if everything would be easier. If everything would make more sense. If everything fell into place that way, Jeremy may be able to live his life in freedom. It was a small possibility, and a weak one at that.

 

It was no secret that reincarnation was a popular recurrence between many. It’s said it’s the way the universe brought you with your soulmate. Jeremy had once asked his father if his mother was his soulmate. As the King put it, his soulmate was long gone from the hold of the earth, she was with the stars now. It was the saddest thought Jeremy could ever have, and it was not his own. Jeremy hoped that his soulmate would be someone his mother liked. Jeremy was unsure if he had even been born into the world before, though he tended not to dwell on it.

 

Jeremy had a few friends inside of the castle. A few outside as well. His handmaiden Christine Canigula was by far the closest person he had to a soulmate, but he knew that if they were truly soulmates, they would never have a happy ending. She was a beautiful woman, born into the life of a handmaiden. Her dark hair and dark eyes should have matched, though her eyes always sparkled with a love and happiness Jeremy wished he could feel. Even when picking out an outfit for Jeremy, she seemed happy with her work. He once asked her why she was so happy, never acting like there was a dull moment in her life, when there should be.

 

“Well, if I live life as if it is miserable, then it would be nothing but miserable.” Christine explained to him the night he had asked. “Do you remember when we were children, and we would practice your sword fighting? When we would always tumble down the hill, giggling the entire way down, and picking flowers from the garden?” She asked.

 

Jeremy knitted his eyebrows together, but nodded. The two were as close as two best friends could be. Jeremy trusted Christine with his entire life. Every moment was never dull between them in the days as children. They never had responsibilities. It was alright for them to play, laugh, and most importantly, it was okay for them to live. Jeremy had many memories of separate occasions of getting his favorite suit browned with mud, of picking flowers from the gardens for his mother, getting grass stains when he would fall, his sleeves getting torn by the blades of swords, and most importantly, being absolutely _awful_ in combat, something he never grew out of.

 

“Well, I was happy then. I try to live in the moments I was happy, even when it seems like everything is dark, sometimes, you need to light the candle yourself.” Christine told him, brushing back a tuff of Jeremy’s soft brown hair. “There will always be darkness. It depends on if we want to light the candle to find our way to more light, or if we want to sulk in the darkness. So I ask you now,” Christine said, putting the comb on the table beside her, she stared into the mirror in front of them. “Are you going to light the candle or stay in the darkness?”

 

Jeremy wanted to answer with the candle, but he knew himself. He knew that he has not lit a candle in all of his years of life. Not since he was handed responsibilities at the ripe age of ten. That was seven years ago, and everything seemed to change. His mother, once seeming loving and kind, he began to see a different version of her. It seemed like she was like a completely different person. She became more hostile, she became harsher, crueler, colder. She seemed to be the one who blew out the candle. After the candle had been blown out, Jeremy was never inspired enough to light it again.

 

“You should sleep on my question. Big day tomorrow, after all. You need all the rest you are able to get. Tomorrow is the day you pick out a maiden to love for the rest of your life!” Christine squealed, She seemed so excited about it, she seemed so happy for him, maybe she thought it would make him want to light the candle. “I believe everything will come together by tomorrow night, at the ball. Jeremy, it will be wonderful! Even us servants are invited.” She gushed, smiling at him as he turned to actually face her.

 

“Christine, you have no idea about how much I will enjoy getting marriage out of the way of life.” Jeremy smiled back at her. She was right, everything would change. Drastically. He would be forced to love a princess from another kingdom, or a regular woman of his kingdom. He wondered if he was ever going to be happy with someone that he barely knew. Maybe overtime he would grow fond of his partner, then again, she could also ice over as soon as the marriage ceremony was over, as the Queen had done.

 

\---

 

Jeremy did not get much sleep that night, not after the conversation he had with Christine. He could only estimate that he had a total of two hours of sleep, it would seem impossible not to fall asleep to anyone not used to his bed. It was a rather large feather mattress, along with a few feather pillows. Everything in the bed was soft, and everything seemed to be easy to sleep on. Though, being used to it, it was easy to move around in the bed, tossing and turning as he struggled with the battle to fall asleep. He usually kept his curtains draped closed, to block out the sun or the moonlight. It also gave Christine a way to wake up her best friend without having to shake him.

 

As the sunlight harshly washed onto his face, Jeremy winced, rubbing away the sleep in his eyes as he sat up. Christine was still opening the curtains when he awoke. “Jeremy, the Queen and King have requested to see you at breakfast, before our guests arrive. I’ve drawn you a bath and have selected your best clothes.” Christine dramatically informed him. She giggled a bit before turning back to him. “Was that alright? I thought you would find a bit of comedy the best way to wake you up.” She smiled

 

“I believe it was wonderful.” Jeremy nodded, and he watched carefully as Christine’s smile grew.

 

“So, are you excited?” Christine asked, her usually happy expression being replaced by a bubbling expression with excitement and happiness, a mix that seemed very dramatic, but Jeremy knew was genuine. Jeremy scratched the back of his neck nervously, looking out of his window, showing the courtyard. It was beautiful, it lead into the royal garden, which went on for miles and miles. Jeremy would be lying if he said that he had never gotten lost in the gardens. He recalled many times taking guests on tours to the gardens, and ending up into the nearby forest, having no idea how he led them there.

 

“Well, not exactly.” Jeremy trailed off, looking down to his hands with sorrow. Christine frowned, her bubbly expression dissipating. Christine moved to Jeremy’s bed, sitting next to him after tying the curtain back to it’s usual state. She always seemed to be there when Jeremy needed to confide in someone, and Jeremy always did confide in her. Christine took Jeremy’s hands gently.

 

“Tell me your fears, Jeremy.” Christine said softly, giving a small smile.

 

Jeremy gave her a small smile back, clearing his throat and looking back down. “What if- What if this leads to the end? The end of everything? The end of my life?” He puzzled, for the first time in months thinking out loud. “I am afraid that my future Queen is a reflection of my mother.” He shook his head slightly, as if the thought was ridiculous. “As for your question from the previous night, I have stayed in the darkness for seven years now. It is unfortunate, but I am cursed to stay in the darkness for the rest of my life. Nothing will change that.”

 

Christine sighed a bit, gently tilting Jeremy’s head up for him to look at her. “Jeremy, please listen to me.” Christine prompted him. “There are chances for you to light your candle. Maybe someone will light your candle with you, and maybe you will meet her tonight.” Christine smiled, playing with Jeremy’s soft hair as she spoke. Jeremy reached his hand to touch her hair. He felt comforted by his friend, nodding a bit after she spoke.

 

“I think you could be right. I also think I am ready for all of this.” Jeremy smiled, a bit more hopeful after her quick peptalk. Speaking to Christine always seemed to clear Jeremy’s mind, put him in the right place to simply be himself. He thought of their conversations while in the bath, trying not to take so long and wrinkle up his skin. He knew for a fact his mother would criticize him over looking wrinkled, she has done so before and he would much dislike a redo of the entire fiasco. He got out of his bath before his skin had the chance to pucker, getting dressed in the clothes Christine had chosen for him. The blue silk was light on his skin, it felt as if he was wearing a suit made of clouds. This was certainly the more fancy suit he owned, although, Jeremy could figure out he would have to change for the ball. For meeting more people, something he tried not to stress over as he walked out of his room, playing with his sleeves.

 

\---

 

As he walked into the dining hall, he saw the food was yet to be put out, and that neither his mother or father were present. Hopefully it would impress the queen that he came in earlier than needed. What he did find were a few servants eating their breakfast before the King and Queen were to eat. He sat down next to the stable boy, Richard, or more commonly known as Rich and was greeted with a smile that was filled with overcooked eggs. Rich was another one of Jeremy’s closest friends. The two have known each other since they were children, and Rich had seemingly always knew what to do if something was bothering Jeremy. When they were children, it was drawing him pictures. Now as young adults, it was horseback riding, which both were lucky for, Rich being the stable boy and all. He seemed to wear the title with pride.

 

“Prince Jeremy!” Rich said, mouth still full. Rich quickly swallowed, before stabbing his fork into a burnt sausage. “Big day! Great day for the kingdom! This will lead into great decades to come once you begin ruling!” Rich exclaimed, putting the sausage into his mouth and chewing harshly. The lisp he had was prominent, showing up with every word that had even the noise of an ‘s’. “Families from all over are going to be here! Jenna tells me according to other maids, even the Mell’s are to arrive!” Rich grinned, swallowing mid-sentence.

 

Jeremy nodded at another one of his long time friends. “And will you be attending the ball?” he questioned, resting an arm onto the free table.

 

“Of course! All the women, and maybe even the handsome men, will be falling for Richard Goranski.” Rich spoke so confidently and unashamed, it made Jeremy’s eyes widened at the part when he spoke of men falling in love with him.

 

“Rich!” Jeremy hissed, his voice hushed. “You cannot just- Can you even- I do not think-”

 

“Well, it is true, like it or not.” Rich shrugged, cutting of Jeremy’s stammering. Jeremy’s face was flushed with a pink that Rich smirked at. “Maybe, a handsome man will fall for you.” Rich rose an eyebrow, eating another part of the egg.

 

“We both know that is not allowed!” Jeremy shook his head, his face mirroring outrage. Even if Jeremy were to want another man, it was impossible. It was punishable by death not to complete his duties as a prince, which included being wed, and it was punishable by death to lay with another man. “Rich, it is against the law!” Jeremy pointed out in a hushed whisper.

 

“Well, the law should not dictate what I prefer in my lover.” Rich shrugged, finishing off his food. “This was a lovely chat, Prince Jeremy, and I do look forward to the ball tonight, but do not let the law dictate who you are to fall in love with. There is always a way for love.”

 

Jeremy watched as Rich walked off, empty plate in hand, Jeremy’s face being left red as a tomato as the rest of the servants brought in plates of food, this time none of the food being under or overcooked. Jeremy buried his face into his hands, trying to get the redness to strip away from his face. Jeremy took a deep breath, finally deciding that he was more well composed than before. Jeremy waited for about two more minutes until his parents came into the dining hall. Jeremy wondered if the Queen was impressed with him, for once maybe he had made her feel a small sense of doing something right.

 

“Jeremiah, I am pleased to see you this early in the morning.” His mother stated, nodding a bit before getting into her seat across from him. His father took the place at the head of the table, and the royal family bowed their heads and prayed over their food before reaching for plates of a morning feast. “There is a reason why you are eating with us rather than being in your chambers until your afternoon lessons.” she hissed out bitterly as Jeremy cut though his food.

 

“Does it have something to do with marriage? Or the ball?” Jeremy inquired, chewing on his food carefully post speaking. She gave him a knowing look, but nodded.

 

“You will be able to choose from the ladies we have picked. The Valentine's will be joining us, their eldest daughter Chloe, and their younger daughters Amelia and Mary, although accompanying the Valentine’s will be Chloe’s handmaiden Brooklyn, since Chloe is picky about who gets to travel with her.” His mother internally reviewed. “The Dillinger’s will be arriving at noon, their oldest son Jacob leading his sisters Annaliese and Diana. Shortly after, the Mell’s will be arriving. I expect you to look your best for them, go after someone from that family, Jeremiah. Prince Michael himself shall escort his three sister Daniella, Madeline, and Silena. Be on your best behavior, bond with the brother to get closer to his sisters.” his mother ordered.

 

Jeremy nodded, muttering a quick ‘yes mother’ before finishing up his food so he could return to his chambers and maybe have a nap before meeting many people. He asked Jenna to wake him up an hour before he any guests came, and he slept for another few hours, thankfully.

 

\---

 

After waking back up and getting dressed in new clothes, he had returned down to the castle grounds, where he was instructed to be before their guests arrived. It fell in perfect sync, just the order his mother had described. First were the Valentines, who arrived in a line of horses, each horse different. The man in the front of them hopped off of a black stallion, five women behind him. He had a smile on his face, letting out a hand for Jeremy to shake. Jeremy gave a small smile, shaking his hand, though being more shaken than his hand.

 

“Alexander Valentine!” The man introduced himself enthusiastically, “King of Arcan. This is my wife Marie,” He gestured to beautiful woman in her thirties at least, with long brown hair and gray eyes. The woman gave a small node, getting off a white and brown spotted horse. “My daughters, Chloe, Amelia, and Mary.” He continued. Mary was the youngest, being at least nine years old. She had a missing front tooth and a large smile, her brown hair being pulled back into two even braids. In her arms she held a stuffed rabbit. Amelia looked around twelve or thirteen, her teeth were crooked and her hair was up in a bun. She looked more awkward than her sisters, her mannerisms matching Jeremy’s on a daily occurrence. Chloe seemed to be the oldest, and most judgemental. She had a glare in her eyes, she seemed to also be unexcited by possibly being married to someone. There was a blonde girl behind Chloe, she smiled shyly at Jeremy, though didn’t speak.

 

“And my handmaiden, Brooklyn Lohst. Do not forget Brooke, dearest father.” Chloe smiled coldly at her father, brushing a bit of her brown hair behind her ear. She was the only one who’s hair wasn’t done up into some intricate hair style.

 

“Of course, Chloe.” Alexander said coldly, every ounce of kindness leaving his face.

 

“The other maids and I will take you all to your rooms.” Jenna smiled, looking to the three others. They all nodded, and the Valentine’s followed him before Jeremy realized he had forgotten to introduce himself to the family. Jeremy, along with a majority of the staff, the only one being missing was Rich, leading the horses to their vastly large stables. Jeremy’s parents off somewhere else, trusting the young prince to greet their guests by himself, which as he sees now, was probably a mistake. Jeremy wrung his hands, looking to Christine next to him.

 

An hour had passed before the next set of horses arrived. Jeremy had presumed them to be the Dillingers, and had noticed that the King and Queen had not joined their children, leaving just three horses. Rich had returned by now, standing by Jeremy’s side. This time, Jeremy promised himself, he would not forget to introduce himself.

 

The man in front, who was about Jeremy’s age, and a few inches taller than Jeremy himself, smiled. “Hello! Prince Jacob, but you may address me as Jake.” Jake nodded, looking over the staff, the back to Jeremy.

 

“Uh- I am Prince Jeremiah, you may address me as Jeremy.” Jeremy smiled back at him. Behind Jake, two young girls got off their horses, blushing bright red. He heard mumbles about how handsome he was, making him laugh awkwardly and scratch the back of his neck.

 

“Jeremy, is there a place I can let my horse stay? Betsy does not like being away from me for too long, and doesn’t take a liking to anyone else.”

 

“Stable boy.” Jeremy heard Rich choke out, his lisp being more noticeable than usual. Jeremy looked at Rich, seeing how red he was. It certainly contrasted his usual confident demeanor, and for a second Jeremy wondered why until he remembered their earlier conversation. Jeremy groaned quietly, earning a shove from Christine.

 

“Ah! _Neigh_ be you can show me the stables.” Jake smiled down at Rich, beginning to laugh slightly at his joke.

 

Rich however, started laughing hysterically. Jeremy honestly was not able to decipher if Rich was truly laughing or about to cry.

 

“That was so very hilarious!” Rich cackled, wiping tears from under his eyes as he took a few deep breaths  “The stables are this way, your majesty- Highness! I am so sorry.” Rich sputtered, somehow blushing to a deeper red, most likely from the embarrassment of the slip up.

 

“Nonsense, Majesty is a compliment. One day, perhaps.” Jake smiled, being tinted a bit pink as well. He took his horse by it’s reigns, following Rich, who had the other two horses belonging to the sisters.

 

The older one of the two, a seemingly fourteen year old girl with brown hair and sky blue eyes smiled and gave a small curtsey. “Greetings, Jeremy.” she smiled, her cheeks dusted with a bit of red. “I am Princess Diana, it is a dream come true to meet you.” Diana smiled holding out her hand for Jeremy to kiss. Jeremy instead shook her hand.

 

“A-A dream?” Jeremy asked, laughing nervously.

 

“Of course!” her younger sister, who looked around twelve spoke up. Jeremy assumed was Annaliese. “You are spoken of everywhere! Across the earth!”

 

“That- is very, _very_ f-flattering.” Jeremy smiled awkwardly as the girls giggled.

 

“Okay, well, Dustin will take you young ladies to your chambers now.” Christine spoke up, saving Jeremy from more embarrassment. As soon as the two were out of earshot, Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Thank you.” Jeremy breathed, hugging Christine.

 

Christine hugging him back, patting his gently. “I would not make a wonderful handmaiden if I did not save you from trouble.” She pointed out after pulling back from the hug.

 

Just as they pulled out of the hug, Jeremy turned to see a large carriage being pulled by four horses. The carriage was a pastel yellow, and Jeremy immediately knew it was the Mell family. He was even more nervous now, since his parents had so kindly told him to pressure the Prince to get close with Jeremy. Jeremy just hoped that they weren’t as intimidating as they seemed, even though Jeremy’s family owned several carriages as well.

 

As soon as they arrived, Rich came rushing towards them as his face was slightly less flushed, and his clothes were obviously fiddled with, along with his hair. Christine simply sighed a bit, turning her attention to the carriage. The driver had already went to open the door once Jeremy looked back, very nervous to see the last royal family. His entire face was probably flushed as he stuck his hands into his pockets and nervously tapped his foot as he hung his head.

 

“Hello?” A male voice asked, sounding moderately close to Jeremy. Jeremy’s head shot up, thankfully he didn’t hit the other with his head, but as soon as Jeremy caught sight of the man, Jeremy indeed understood what Rich was speaking about earlier in the day. Jeremy took in the other man’s features. His skin was extremely clear compared to Jeremy, there was no freckle or pimple in sight. His hair was dark brown, almost black, swooping upwards. The man’s eyes were the most beautiful eyes he had ever gotten the chance to see, being the most beautiful mixes and swirls of brown. His spectacles barely hid the color of his eyes, Jeremy wondering how such a person could resonate this amount of joy with just a look of question. It felt, in the moment as if he had met the person he was supposed to be with. Slowly, he felt his heart taking flight.

 

Jeremy realized he had been staring for a few seconds, his eyes darting back up to Michael, who he assumed was his name, and his lips. Jeremy flushed a deeper red before laughing nervously and backing up “H-He-Hello! Um- I-I am Prince Jeremiah, but uh- You may address me as Jeremy!” He said, standing up straighter than before, finding that he was a few inches shorter than the other Prince. Michael seemed to find his stumbling over his sentence endearing.

 

“Jeremy, it is a pleasure to meet you. These are my sisters, Daniella and Madeline,” Michael said, gesturing to one girl who was waving sweetly to Jeremy, and the other one ignoring him entirely. Jeremy wasn’t sure who was who, although they did not not look much alike aside from their eyes. “Madeline, at the very least, address our host.” Michael scolded. The nice one seemed to be Daniella, who shoved Madeline. Jeremy was unable to tell if it was a playful shove or an aggressive shove.

 

Madeline just rolled her eyes before speaking, “Hello J-J-Jeremy.” Madeline mocked.

 

Michael sighed a bit before turning back to Jeremy, making Jeremy go even more red when he looked at him with a kind and apologetic look. “I apologize for my younger sister’s attitude. She is still learning how to use manners and is not very happy with the subject of our visit.”

 

“Oh no! It is um- It is all okay, really.” Jeremy smiled awkwardly.

 

Michael tinted red a bit, so slightly Jeremy thought it must be his mind showing him what he wanted to see, turning back to his sisters. “And last but certainly not least, actually probably most, Sil-” Michael interrupted himself and looking around. “Silena? Daniella, did you happen to catch sight of where our youngest sister ran off?” Michael asked.

 

Daniella simply shrugged, though her skirt moved around on it’s own, trying to bite back a smile when it happened. A quiet childish ‘one two’ was counted and there was a pause

 

“THREE!” a child yelled, coming out from under Daniella’s dress. Jeremy now saw that the small child was another one of Michael’s sisters. She giggled happily while Michael picked her up.

 

“Silly Lena, you nearly killed me with fear!” Michael teased, tickling Silena’s stomach and watching her giggle more for a few seconds.

 

“I am sorry.” Silena apologized, calming down from all the laughter. “Is he the Prince?” Silena asked, pointing to Jeremy.

 

“Yes, Jeremy, this is my youngest sister Silena. Silena, this is Prince Jeremy.” Michael introduced the two.

 

Jeremy held out a hand for Silena. “It is an honor to meet you.” he smiled.

 

She stared at his hand blankly for a bit before smiling and shaking it vigorously. “You are very pretty!” Silena gushed.

 

Jeremy laughed a bit before pulling his hand away, while Michael rolled his eyes. “Silena, you would say ‘handsome’ instead of pretty.” Michael pointed out, though kissing his little sister’s cheek.

 

“Well! I will show you girls to your chambers and Prince Michael, Prince Jeremy will give you a tour of the castle!” Christine spoke up, smiling happily. Jeremy’s eyes seemed to protrude from his face.

 

“I will?” he clarified.

 

“Yes! Who better than the Prince himself?” Christine asked, pulling Jeremy down to her level. “You will be thanking me tomorrow morning.”

 

Jeremy blushed scarlet before turning back to Michael. “Uh- sh-shall we?”

 

Michael grinned, nodding enthusiastically. “We shall.”

 

\---

 

The tour of the castle went off without a hitch. It made them feel more comfortable, and Jeremy felt like he knew Michael for years, despite only meeting him in the span of a day. They had stopped at the castle library, Jeremy’s favorite place in the entire castle. It was emptied, and the doors were locked to have the whole room to themselves. Jeremy and Michael had been reading together, both reading the same book.

 

It had all happened so fast.

 

There they were, both of them laughing at a particularly hilarious part in the book, when Jeremy looked over to Michael. Michael looked more than handsome or pretty, he looked beautiful, gorgeous, even. He looked especially beautiful smiling so wide. Jeremy had stopped laughing subconsciously, staring at Michael with a look of… longing, it seemed. Jeremy heard Michael's laughs die down, as he turned back to look at him. They were so close together. Their faces were barely inches away from each other. Jeremy noticed Michael’s eyes not dart down away from him, but to his lips. Jeremy’s entire face went red before he looked at Michael’s lips. They were so close to kissing, and Jeremy couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like.

 

Then, Jeremy brought himself back to reality. Or attempted to.

 

“I- I have to marry someone.” he mumbled.

 

“I know.” Michael acknowledged softly, not pulling back. They were so close, Jeremy could feel the hot breath against his face.

 

“And uh- this is supposed to be- it is supposedly wrong.” Jeremy continued, trying to will himself away.

 

“Then why on Earth are you leaning in?” Michael teased, leaning in as well, just as slowly.

 

“I-I have only felt this way once as a child. It takes me back to a happier time. A time I… a time that I was happy in.” Jeremy explained. “Ever since you got here, I have felt that way. Giddy like a child. I smiled today, and it wasn’t a false smile. All my smiles with you have been true smiles. It is as if-if this is supposed to be wrong, then why is it _so-_ ” Jeremy was cut off by Michael gently pressing his lips against his own, and for a second, Jeremy blacked out. He had forgotten how to move, how to breathe, but sure enough, he brought himself back to reality, to kiss back and to tangle his fingers into Michael’s hair, trying to pull him closer before he was pulled away from him, which could be any second. His heart decided to let him fly again, and Jeremy wondered if this was how birds felt, if they felt the way Jeremy did. Breathless, pounding heart, and all in all, right.

 

Finally, Jeremy needed to breathe properly and pulled away quickly, his face a deep red, Michael’s face being a near match. They were both silent for a moment before Jeremy started laughing awkwardly. “Well uh- the-the ball! I must- I should- good day!” Jeremy squeaked before running out of the library.

 

As soon as he left, he dashed down the hallway, turning at random cornors, nearly tripping on carpets, until he actually did trip and fall face first. Jeremy groaned a bit before seeing a pair of shoes. Jeremy gasped and scrambled black, and looked up to see Rich.

 

“Thank heavens it is only you!” Jeremy breathed.

 

“You look like you need a horse ride and a good talk.” Rich observed, nodding up and down. Jeremy stared at him for a moment.

 

“Wha-? What does that mean?” Jeremy asked, standing back up.

 

“Well we cannot have the talk here.” Rich scoffed. “You need a quiet place. My stables are always safe for everyone, always ready to have a conversation in.” Rich smirked, turning to walk back outside. For some reason only known by God himself, Jeremy followed.

 

\---

 

Once on a horse and far from the castle, Rich began speaking again. “Is it out of line if I ask you something personal? No, wait, I have known you most of my life. Of course it is not.” Rich laughed a bit. “Were you running away from a Prince? Perhaps… Prince Michael?” Rich said, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

Jeremy choked on air, nearly falling off of his horse. “It is a strong possibility.” Jeremy nodded. “We were in the library, we had a… a very intimate moment with each other.”

 

“You kissed him? As did I!” Rich grinned, “Wait, not Michael, but I did kiss Jake. And then some.” Rich clapped.

 

“You are so okay with all of this. You are okay with yourself. How did you develop such a state of mind?” Jeremy asked.

 

“I stopped caring about what everyone thought.” Rich shrugged. “When you stop caring, you become okay with yourself. You make you happy, not anyone else. Unless they love you, then make them happy too.” he elaborated.

 

Jeremy sighed a bit, nodding a bit. “You are right. But, I cannot be so selfish. I am a prince with responsibilities, I must be a servant to the people, I must wed a woman here, and not try to pursue something that-”

 

“Something that will make you happy?” Rich asked. Jeremy stared back at him with a blank face. “Just try, try to be happy for yourself. Even if it kills you, you deserve happiness. I do not believe I have seen a true smile on your face in years.”

 

“I will think about it.”

 

\---

 

Jeremy thought for the majority of the afternoon, which lead on into the night. He stood in the front of the room, overlooking the many people that came from all over his kingdom, and kingdoms surrounding for the ball in hopes Jeremy would notice them. Though, he only noticed one person through the entire night.

 

His eyes always seemed to wander back right to Michael, despite Jeremy’s best protests to look anywhere else, the red suit had made him immediately stare at him, until he was caught and he looked anywhere else.

 

According to Christine, his parents had left to consult the families that hadn’t came with their children, and Jeremy was thankful he would be, for the most part, on his own. Jeremy tried to look for Michael once again, had tried to seek comfort in the one person he felt like he could count on for comfort, even though he had probably screwed up everything he could possibly ever have with him. Jeremy continued to look, but came up empty. He felt confused for a split second before feeling a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Looking for someone?” Michael asked from beside him. Jeremy jumped a bit, his face reddening.

 

“What? You? Me? Looking? No.” Jeremy laughed a bit.

 

“Come with me.” Michael smiled a bit.

 

“The-the party, I-”

 

“Christine informed me she would have it all under control. Come with me, just for a moment.” Michael pleaded. All Jeremy could do was nod until he followed after Michael, once out of the ballroom, Michael took Jeremy’s hand and walked with Jeremy dragging behind.

 

Eventually, the two made it to a tower, one that Jeremy knew lead to the roof of the castle.

 

“We- we are climbing a roof to talk?” Jeremy asked.

 

“The talking is along the way.” Michael answered, turning back momentarily. “So, what happened in the library today, what you said- did you really mean it?”

 

“Of course, it is just- it is that I must be an unselfish ruler, and it is danger for one Prince to engage in these sort of affairs but- Michael, it’s simply _deadly_ for two Princes.” Jeremy explained. They stayed silent for the rest of the climb up, eventually reaching the roof, both climbing through and sitting back on the roof.

 

“Jeremy, if I am to die at a young age, then I shall die being yours.” Michael spoke up quietly. Jeremy went red, pulling his hand away and wiping it on the fabric of his clothing before interlocking their hands once again.

 

“There is no possible way for this to work, I must choose a Princess to marry by the end of this week. You must rule your own kingdom one day, and if we were to keep this going, we would get caught.” Jeremy shook his head.

 

“You underestimate me. As if I have not spent the afternoon and evening planning this thoroughly.” Michael scoffed. Jeremy looked at him, mainly in awe.

 

“You- you planned a future for us?” Jeremy spoke quietly. In the moment, Michael looked beautiful as ever. His hair was being tousled by the slight breeze, the stars shining above them both lit his face, and the look of contentment made Jeremy smile back at him with a small smile of genuine love.

 

“Jeremy, I feel as if I have known you for- for a lifetime. Explaining what I feel to my younger sister, Daniella, she promised to make this work, and she is prepared to do whatever it may take to let the both of us be happy. She even promised to bear your child, maybe we could consider them our child. She’s decided if we propose to our families a unification of our kingdoms, we will be living under the same roof. We may live out our entire lifetime together. We may live a happy and fulfilling life, you may make your kingdom, your parents, even yourself happy. It is the perfect plan. But, it will only be carried out if you accept to agree to the plan.” Michael spoke.

 

Jeremy thought for a moment, and he was right. Everyone would truly be happy if it were to go this way.

 

“I will think about it. For now, I would like to watch the stars before returning to the party. I must at least speak to the other guests.” Jeremy nodded. Michael nodded back, Jeremy leaning into him as he felt the warmth of Michael’s arm snake around him.

 

\---

 

“I have no intention of marrying you.” Chloe spoke when Jeremy had approached her. “You must forgive me for what I am about to say, but my father wants me to marry a Prince such as yourself. My father also wants a wolf to bring him every meal, so what he has to say to me has no meaning whatsoever. Besides, your appearance is dreadful. It is as if someone hit you in the face, and you are not attractive to me as it is.”

 

Jeremy stared blankly before nodding. “I was just about to say Hello.”

 

Brooke, out of nowhere, appeared back with two glasses of champagne. “Chloe, need I remind you that we are guests, and offending the host is unwise?”

 

Chloe’s eyes seemed to soften at the blonde before she sighed a bit. “I suppose it is. But what has been said has been said.”

 

“ _Chloe_ , I-” Brooke began.

 

“It is alright Ms. Lohst. The princess is forgiven. I understand where she is coming from.” Jeremy nodded. “Now please, you must excuse me for the time being.” Jeremy smiled nervously, finding a place that was anywhere that wasn’t there.

 

“Prince Jeremy!” he heard a shrill voice exclaim. At once, there were two young girls on his arm, Annaliese and Diana. Both girls smiled widely up at him, being shorter than him by a quite a bit. “We feared we never would find you! Where did you disappear to?” Diana asked.

 

“I- uh- I um- I was at the- the stables. Yep, I wanted to be assured that- that my horse was happy.” Jeremy sputtered.

 

“I hope Betsy did not frighten you! I told Jake that he should bring a stallion. He insisted on bringing Betsy. Every stable boy we have had has been unable to care for Betsy, aside from Jake, but he is a Prince!” Annaliese exclaimed.

 

Jeremy nodded for a moment, but remembered how well Rich had taken care of Betsy when they had returned after their short ride. “Our stable boy, Rich Goranski, I saw him bonding so well with Betsy. Perhaps I could speak to him about taking the job in your kingdom?” Jeremy asked.

 

“That would be wonderful.” a new voice spoke, Jeremy turning around to see Jake. Jeremy blinked for a moment and nodded. “Diana, Annaliese, what have we said about crowding someone?”

 

A sigh escaped Diana's lips, letting go of Jeremy. “It is wrong.” she answered, though Annaliese’s grip did not change.

 

“Annaliese? What do you remember?” Jake asked.

 

“It is not acceptable.” she mumbled, letting go of Jeremy as well.

 

“Now, both of you run along, you may share a glass of wine if you do.” Jake tempted. With that, both girls were off. Jake turned to Jeremy, a small, nervous smile on his face. “Would I be correct to assume that Rich has spoken about our relationship?”

 

Jeremy nodded, “You- you uh- yes.” he answered. “Rich is very uh- open. He does not have much shame in himself, which I admire about his character. If you want to keep things between you two a secret-”

 

“Just to the kingdom.” Jake dismissed. “My parents are hardly in the same country as my sisters and I, I certainly do not expect them that often. With such little staff, it gets lonely. Diana and Annaliese seem to always be together, and I usually do not have any company aside from Betsy. Rich works so well with her, and I finally feel happiness.”

 

“I understand that completely.” Jeremy agreed. “Well, I am sure Rich will be ecstatic about working with you in the future. He most likely would like a change in scenery. I hardly blame him myself.” Jeremy laughed.

 

“Well, I believe you should seek out your happiness as well.” Jake nodded.

 

“Pardon?” Jeremy asked, going red instantly.

 

“I did not mean to eavesdrop of course, I was simply going to give Betsy an evening treat, but I heard your conversation. I believe you should agree to it. Happiness is the most important thing after all.” Jake explained.

 

Jeremy only nodded at this. “I believe I have someone to speak to then.” he said, spotting Daniella and Michael, getting a smile from Michael and a curtsey from Daniella.

 

“Everything will be alright in the end.” Jake assured Jeremy, patting him on the shoulder. Jeremy smiled a bit before walking over to Michael and Daniella.

 

“Finished speaking to your guests so soon?” Michael teased.

 

“I would rather spend time here.” Jeremy nodded.

 

“As long as we are keeping civil with guests, nothing is wrong with leaving so early.” Daniella commented. “Have you given the offer any thought?”

 

Jeremy paused for a moment before nodding. “Yes. I accept.”

 

\---

 

As soon as Jeremy spoke of his acceptance and spoke of Daniella to his parents over a letter, he could tell his mother was proud in the letter she had sent to him. Every passing day after Michael had left was spent receiving, writing and sending letters to both his newfound lover and his fiancee, who Jeremy had become rather good friends with. Jeremy supposed he wouldn’t mind the marriage or his future. No longer did he feel locked up in a dark cage. He had his candle lit again, and was free from the cage, making his way to the light with Michael by his side.

 

_Dearest Michael,_

 

_While we await for the return of my parents, I must apologize now for any behavioral issues my mother gave you. She has not always been the best with keeping her temper to a minimum. If there is no need to apologize, we can pretend the beginning of the paragraph never was written. With more important things, soon the ceremony will take place. I have written my vows to you, I will be speaking to you. I also must include that anticipating your arrival makes me nervous, only because of more opportunity to be caught. We must be cautious, more so than last time. If one of us are to die over our love for each other, I believe we both can guess the other would refuse to go on without the other. I love and care for you the most in the world. I still wonder if you can remember the feeling of my lips on yours. I fear I did not express my love for you as much as possible in the duration of your last visit. I can remember every detail, you are never not on my mind. Whatever spell you have casted upon me, you failed to make it a curse. I never want to forget the only warmth from your hands, the feel of your lips or your hair tangled in my own two hands. I long for the moment I am able to participate in such acts, though I must wait for only several days, it is torturous to not have you by my side. You are my sun, giving off warmth and giving me light to guide me through the darkness. Soon, my dearest and most affectionate friend, we will meet face to face once more._

 

_Yours,_

 

_J. Heere_

 

Letters like those were written back and forth between them, though they came to a halt once Michael had started traveling. Jeremy read in the library, the same book the two read over and over again, trying to live in the memory of Michael once again. He traced the words on the page carefully, Jeremy’s lips curling into a smile as he was reminded of every kiss the two shared.

 

Suddenly there was the sound of a door opening and faint footsteps. Jeremy looked up only to see his mother, his smile disappearing and being replaced by a fake copy of a smile. “Mother! I was not aware of your arrival! I am happy to inform you of-”

 

“Your marriage with Daniella Mell and the unification of our two kingdoms? I have heard the news from the prince himself. He spoke of you fondly, I suppose you made quite the impression.” She said, and for the first time in years, Jeremy saw a smile that wasn’t evil, a smile that wasn’t false. A true, genuine smile.

 

He nodded furiously. “Yes, Prince Michael and I correspond almost as much as Princess Daniella and I.” Jeremy confirmed. It was the truth, partially. Daniella and Jeremy wrote each other often, though not as often as Jeremy and Michael. If the siblings had their names flipped, it would be the truth. Jeremy gently shut his book in his hand.

 

“I am proud of you, you’ve brought honor on the family. This marriage will be spoken of for centuries.” His mother gave a smile, one that Jeremy felt undeserving of. As she exited the room, Jeremy looked back down to his shaking hands, and clenched his fist. He took a few deep breaths to get rid of the feeling of overwhelming guilt. Jeremy put the book he was reading in it’s usual place, not ever wanting to lose it. He walked out of the library. Rich had already left to his new job for the Dillinger’s, the new stable boy being a Dustin, who initially was Rich’s apprentice. Jeremy wished he could speak to Rich now, though he still remained happy for his friend. Jeremy walked the halls, turning random corners to places he’s already been too, eventually bumping into someone.

 

“I- Jenna! I- uh- I am so sorry-” Jeremy began, helping her up.

 

“No apologies necessary your Highness.” Jenna smiled. “So, are the rumors true or false regarding you and Prince Michael?” Jenna asked in a hushed tone.

 

Jeremy instantly went red, laughing nervously. “No! Rumors? I do not know what you speak of! Rumors are always wrong!”

 

“Ah, so it is true?”

 

“Do not speak of it to anyone. You are a very, very reliable source of information.” Jeremy pleaded.

 

Jenna waved her hand. “I would never spread things of that subject, I do not speak of rumors on the subject of love and affairs as a rule of moral code.” she shrugged. “I wish you both the best of luck. I am honest when I say this, you deserve your happiness.”

 

\---

 

“Your letters has arrived!” Christine’s voice rang as she entered Jeremy’s chambers.  Jeremy turned to Christine with a smile. “Letters from Rich, Princess Daniella, and of course, Prince Michael!” Christine smiled widely, giving Jeremy the letters. “I will be in the servants quarters if you need me!” she grinned, leaving the room. Jeremy turned back to the candle light on his desk.

 

He thought back to Christine telling him that he would one day light his candle again, and that someone could help him. Michael had provided the fire to light his candle, and had walked through the darkness with him since the last month or so. Jeremy tore open Rich’s letter first.

 

_Dear Prince Jeremy,_

 

_Greetings dear friend! I hope life is treating you as well as it treats me. Prince Jake is quite the gentleman, though I have not seen much of the King and Queen. We spend our days riding together, and spend our nights with other scandalous affairs that no one should ever speak of. The princesses are thrilled for your wedding, and I know I was not supposed to be aware, although the union between two families and two special people is very exciting. If you are still the same, anxious prince that I know of, I know you will lock my letter away in a sealed box kept under Ms. Canigula’s bed, or will burn this message. I will never tell how I know of either locations. From the bottom of my heart, I am filled with joy for you. After all these years, you do deserve to truly smile. I would wish you the eternal happiness now, though I shall wait until I am able to in a few months._

 

_Best Regards,_

 

_R. Goranski_

 

Jeremy, after reading the letter through a couple of times decided he needed a better hiding place. Jeremy looked until seeing a box holding envelopes. Jeremy emptied the box, putting the spare envelopes on a side of his desk before neatly folding Rich’s letter and putting it into the box. Jeremy then pulled out Daniella’s letter, unsealing it.

 

_Dearest Jeremy,_

 

_It is my best and truest happiness to be wed to you. When we met, you charmed me to an extent of no other, especially the night after the ball. I look forward to my nosey, pesky sister Madeline has finally looked away and has stopped reading. Regarding your last letter, it would be an honor to join you for tea in the garden. I have a story of Silena saved for the occasion, I know how much you adore her, as if she is your own. She loves you as well, she insisted on naming her newest stuffed cat Jeremy. As you may know, your parents visited. I have spoken highly of your dancing and spoke of getting toured the garten. If your terrifying mother speaks of it, please tell her I loved the lilies. I also sincerely hope you have lilies in your gardens. We must hide from Madeline, she has always been suspicious of Michael, and even more so since you have been invited into our lives. He has never spoke of marriage with a woman before, please urge him to seem less suspicious. He seems only to listen to you, dear friend. I know you love my brother, but he has no experience in hiding himself. I fear Madeline will get him executed. I am aware this is unlikely even so, but I still cannot shake the awful feeling. I care for both of you deeply, so please do me the favor of staying safe and cautious._

 

_Sincerely,_

_D. Mell_

 

Jeremy wasn’t going to lie when he said it, the message Daniella gave him frightened him a bit. Though, with slightly shaky hands, Jeremy was able to neatly put the letters in the box. Last one to read was the one he had been saving, the one he had wanted to read last so he could reread every word over and over again. He reached for Michael’s letter, listening closely for footsteps. Once everything was clear, he opened the letter neatly, not wanting to accidentally tear it.

 

_My dearest Jeremy,_

 

_I am pleased to tell you, the day after this letter arrives I will be the next to arrive, along with my sisters and parents. I will not tell you what time I will be arriving, but expect me in the evening, or even expect me arriving under the stars. The night sky reminds me so much of you. It reminds me of every night spent taking in the view of the night sky. Every star, the moon, it reminds me of you. It reminds me of small kisses and safety. Regarding your last letter, your mother was not much trouble. She was very harsh, and a bit loud, but I did not spend much time with the queen. While in appearances you resemble her, your characteristics could not be more different. You are kind and sweet, you are loving, some of the time you are snarky, but most of all, you are mine, and I am yours. The moon resembles you well. If I am your sun, you are my moon. I shall give you my light to shine. You are mysterious and seemingly as dark as the moon, but you are a beacon of light through the dark light. No star could ever compare to your beauty, though your face is dotted with stars, splashed with solar systems. Perhaps you are the universe, disguised as the moon. Either way, dear moon, I look up at you and smile. We will once again be able to hold hands under tables, kiss behind closed doors, and I will get to trace constellations on your skin every night while you fall asleep once again. Thank the lord for Christine, without her we would not get away with lying in the same chamber. You mean the entire world to me, and when you are back in my arms, the world will be right again._

 

_Yours forever,_

 

_M. Mell_

 

Jeremy’s heart raced with every word he read on the page. He flew higher again rereading it a third time of the night, it made him smile, to think of his beloved coming sometime tomorrow night. After he had dressed in his night attire and had crawled into his bed, the last thought of his mind for the day was Michael.

 

\---

 

The day was rather uneventful. Jeremy spent most of it approving a few wedding plans, he spent it mostly in the library as well, and slept quite nicely until he was awoken.

 

“Hello?” Jeremy mumbled, feeling to hands on his shoulders as he woke up. Opening his eyes slowly, he noticed there was light in the room. More importantly, there was Michael, smiling down at him, inches from him. “You- you are here! At last!” Jeremy exclaimed, waking up immediately.

 

“Hush!” Michael giggled, pressing a finger to his lips. “You will wake the entire kingdom, my love.” Michael said quietly, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s cheek. Jeremy smiled as he grabbed Michael’s face, kissing him forcefully. Their teeth clashed and Jeremy’s hand awkwardly held Michael’s chin, but both were too ecstatic to care.

 

“You are here, you are really here and I’m not even dreaming. You are here and I am not imagining it.” Jeremy mutter once they pulled away, a large smile on his face. “I have missed you so much. Every day passed slowly when you were not by my side. It was as if I had forgotten what life was like without you entirely.”

 

Michael smiled down at Jeremy, kissing him again. “Life was never the same after I met you.” He replied, lying next to Jeremy. Jeremy could only smile, as he continued to pull Michael into countless kisses.

 

“I hope to never leave your side again Micah.” Jeremy sighed happily once their kissing had ceased.

 

Michael smiled, taking Jeremy’s hand into his own. “I will never leave your side again, Miah. That way we will stay together.” Michael promised.

 

Jeremy smiled cuddling against Michael as he felt Michael snake an arm around him. Jeremy closed his eyes as a wave of exhaustion washed over him. “I will be with you always.” Jeremy mumbled.

 

“Forever you and I?” Michael asked softly. Jeremy nodded tiredly in agreement.

 

“Forever you and I.”

 

\---

 

“You must get your vows correct!” Jeremy’s mother scolded. In the room with Jeremy and his mother were Michael, his father, Daniella, and Madeline. It was a mere week before the wedding, yet there was still so much left. “Repeat after me, again!” his mother snapped. Jeremy watched hopelessly as his mother walked towards him as she spoke. “‘I will protect, love, cherish, and honor you until the end of time. Our love may end our strife.’”

 

“I-I will pr-protect, love, ch-cherish, and-and honor-” Jeremy stuttered, though being cut off.

 

“No stuttering!” his mother scolded.

 

“I-I can’t do this.” Jeremy shook his head before walking out of the room. He walked continuously until he reached outside. He walked past the stables and into the forest. Jeremy walked deep into the forest, sitting down on a fallen tree. He promised himself he wouldn’t start crying, though the promise was short lived as he began to let his tears fall. Jeremy curled up into himself, he hated this loophole. He had to deal with his mother yelling at him constantly, but all Jeremy wanted was to be with Michael for the rest of his life.

 

As he wiped his eyes, Jeremy looked up and saw Michael walking towards him. Jeremy’s lips trembled as he stood up, flinging himself at Michael, holding onto him for dear life. They stood like that for a few seconds, before Michael spoke up again.

 

“My dear moon, do not let her dim your beautiful light.” Michael said softly, playing with a bit of Jeremy’s hair. There was a sniffled and Jeremy’s body shook.

 

“Y-you are the one who provides me with the light, glorious sun.” Jeremy mumbled against Michael. “Every other star in the night sky is envious of how bright you shine.”

 

Michael shook his head. “Ah, but you are a true one of a kind. There is nothing in this universe like you, you are beautiful and simply magnificent. Every human is baffled by your existence.”

 

Jeremy burst into more tears, increasing his grip on his lover. Eventually, Jeremy pulled back slightly, but did not let go. Jeremy pressed a kiss to Michael’s lips as he had done hundreds of times before while alone. Jeremy felt safe as the two kissed, he felt as if nothing could hurt him now. Jeremy sighed a bit again as he pulled away, going back to the safe embrace. “Before you I felt as if I would be in a constant state of anguish and despair. Christine once told me we all have candles that light us through the darkest parts of our lives to find the light.” Jeremy began, “I thought you were guiding me to the light. Now I see you are the light I have guided myself to. I have finally reached the light.”

 

Michael smiled, still playing with parts of Jeremy’s hair. “Well, I had already established you are my light. You are more than just that. You are my love, my moon, my happiness, my always, and most importantly, you are truly my forever.”

 

“Forever you and I.” Jeremy said, pressing their lips together.

 

“Forever you and I.” Michael replied once their lips had separated. Jeremy smiled softly, intertwining their hands together.

 

“What would I do without you?” Jeremy asked, smiling up at him, the only tears being cried out of happiness and love.

 

Michael gently wiped away the tears streaming down Jeremy’s cheeks. “Well, I think we both prefer never to think of it. Do you agree?”

 

Jeremy nodded, holding Michael’s hand to his cheek. “Of course I do.” he nodded. “We should go back, before anyone thinks more of it. We need to handle this with more caution.” Jeremy sighed, looking away a bit sadly as he let go of Michael completely, beginning to walk away. Jeremy felt a hand grab his, turning to look back at Michael and being greeted by lips on his own. Jeremy melted into the kiss, staying in the kiss for a few seconds that felt like hours. That was the thing about being with Michael, Jeremy discovered that time slowed down almost completely. He was thankful for it. Once they pulled away, Jeremy gave him a confused look, but it was crossed with a smile. “What was all that for?” he questioned.

 

“I wanted to see a smile on your face again, before it disappears again.” Michael explained. Jeremy’s face went red completely, Jeremy reaching to his face to cover his face and giant smile. Michael pulled his hand away from his face gently. “Well if you cover it, I will need to resort to kissing you until I can see it again.” Michael pointed out.

 

“Wouldn’t want that.” Jeremy said sarcastically. Michael smiled down at him as he kissed over his face.

 

“Prince Jeremiah Augustus Heere, you shall lead me to the grave.” Michael grinned, and Jeremy felt like he was flying. As if he had been put on a cloud, or as if his heart sprouted wings and soared to the heavens. It remained that way until the end of the day.

 

\---

 

Putting each letter into his letterbox, where each letter he held sentiment to. Jeremy locked it carefully. He smiled down at his letters. Letters from childhood, on days he was not allowed to see Christine and when she would carefully slip a paper under Jeremy’s door. Or letters from Rich, mainly the letters being drawings of what exactly Jeremy was missing. A few more from Jenna, most keeping him up to date on everything that happened in the castle on his time alone. Of course, every letter from Michael and Daniella made their way into the box of treasured letters. After all, every letter in the box was special to Jeremy. Each one he held close for different reasons. It only made sense to give the letters to the most trusted person in his life, Christine, to look after them. She made a promise years ago when he began a collection that she would guard the letters with her life. She asked Rich to craft it, and designed it herself.

 

“Please, find another spot for these?” Jeremy pleaded.

 

“Of course. I swear to protect these letters with everything I am. Hell will freeze over before anyone else sees this box.” Christine promised.

 

Jeremy smiled. “Thank you.” he nodded. There was a knock at the door, and both turned their heads to the door. Christine put her lips together in a thin line, her eyebrows raised in an excited expression. She shrugged a bit before going to open the door, revealing a nervous Michael. Christine gave a confused look, but shrugged it off.

 

“I will be leaving you both alone now.” Christine nodded, exiting and closing the door carefully behind her. Michael rushed over to him, intertwining their hands, not meeting Jeremy’s eyes. Immediately Jeremy knew something was wrong.

 

“What is wrong? Why do you look so glum?” Jeremy asked hurriedly.

 

“It is over. All of this. They know, they are searching for proof of us.” Michael shook his head, momentarily meeting Jeremy’s eyes.

 

Suddenly, Jeremy felt himself falling. He fell from the Earth as quickly as he had flown from it. He knew this would end this way, he believed he was naive to believe otherwise. He shook his head rapidly, hot tears threatening to spill down his face. “No. No no no, we were so close.” Jeremy said, a voice crack showing through the first no. Jeremy couldn’t care less about the embarrassing voice crack. “This is not real, I refuse to believe it. We were so careful, so cautious, we were so-”

 

“Madeline followed us.” Michael explained. “She followed me to the woods and observed from there. Daniella informed me so I could tell you before either of us were dragged out of our chambers and straight to our deaths.”

 

“You must flee.” Jeremy concluded.

 

Michael let out a sigh, finally looking at Jeremy. For the first time, Michael was crying. There was no sign of a cheerful smile, no sign of happiness. Simply despair and sadness showed through his face. “My love, there is no place for me to leave. You know best I would never leave without you by my side, especially if I knew I was leaving you alone to die.”

 

“Let me be the one to die! You should live your life, happily with someone who loves you as much as I do. Someone who loves you most likely more than me. Someone who you love more than you love me. Someone who you see and become filled with happiness upon sight. No, someone who makes you filled with love and happiness just by hearing their name. That is the love you deserve.” Jeremy cried, tangling a hand into Michael’s hair.

 

Michael smiled sadly. “Have you not figured it out? You just described how it feels to be in love with you. I have told you once before that if I was to die at a young age, I would die being yours. I want to keep my promise. I want to die being yours because I am so, madly, _sickly_ in love with you.”

 

Jeremy was at a loss for words, the feeling of flying as back, a if he was being lifted back into the air. He knew if he was to fly again there would be another heartbreaking crash to end him, to end everything. His love and his life. “I am also in love, and I am glad to say it is with you.” Jeremy smiled.

 

“Jeremy-” Michael smiled, more tears spilling from his cheeks.

 

“One last kiss? Before we are ripped away from each other?” Jeremy interrupted.

 

“Anything for the moon.” Michael nodded, and suddenly the warm pressure of Michael’s lips were on Jeremy’s own lips, and he returned the kiss as he soared high and higher.

 

Then there was a bang as his door was kicked down, entering two knights a second before the two ceased their kissing. The boys separated immediately and Jeremy began to plummet a quick but painstakingly slow fall. Jeremy watched as one of the two knights grabbed Michael, the other grabbing Jeremy. There was a harsh force used, but not to the extent of force being used on Michael. Michael tried to fight back, being kicked to the ground immediately. “Don't hurt him, please! In insist you use force on me rather than him!” Jeremy begged.

 

“We do not take your orders.” the guard behind him spoke. Jeremy tore his eyes away and watched as Christine was dragged in by her hair. She was sobbing, bruises and cuts covering her body and face. The guard holding her was holding in the other hand, Jeremy’s box of letters.

 

“J-Jeremy! You-You must- p-please forgive me dear friend!” she begged. “I wanted t-to hide them, I-I was too late! F-far too late.” she cried.

 

“I will always forgive you.” Jeremy nodded, feeling the weight of his hard drag him down faster, making him fall faster. He began to cry as well, being dragged out of the chamber and doen into the dungeon. Unsurprisingly, Madeline stood, proud of herself. Jeremy watched as Daniella marched down to the dungeons with them, standing tall with a calm expression on her face. Jeremy longed for her bravery in the moment.

 

\---

 

The night spent in the dungeon was a sleepless one for all, as well as a quiet one. No one spoke, there was no noise except from the sobs coming from Christine and the small gasps from Jeremy as he cried. He could not see any of them, he was limited to listening. He assumed Rich and Jake would be brought to execution, the same sentence as Michael and Jeremy. Christine received a sentence to be executed as well, for being an accomplice to both, and the same fate went to Daniella. Jeremy did not want to think about any of his friends dying anymore. He did not want to think of the love of his life being decapitated in the morning. Jeremy sniffed as he curled up into a ball on the floor, shutting his eyes and hoping sleep would take him; it never did.

 

The morning was quiet and without breakfast, the Queen wanted to watch them all die. There seemed to be an order in which they would go. Daniella would be the first one to go, Christine the second, Michael the third, and Jeremy last.

 

He figured his mother assumed it would hurt to watch people he loved die, and assumed that he would suffer the most.

 

She was right.

 

Daniella’s execution was hard to watch. “Do you have any last words to speak?” the knight asked.

 

Daniella looked painfully calm as she lifted her head up. “If this is a world where my brother was not allowed to love in, then I would rather have never lived in it at all.” She said, her voice steady. She lowered her head. Jeremy looked away when the knight raised his sword, but knowing he had killed her, due to Christine choking on a sob.

 

Christine was harder than the last. This was his childhood best friend, who was reduced to shambles. Her legs shook as she walked to towards the night. Her eyes had no tears left to cry, yet she continued to sob. It hurt just to see his best friend in such a broken state. Christine looked to Jeremy, only crying harder.

 

“Final words to be spoken?” The knight inquired.

 

Christine sobbed and nodded, looking to not only Jeremy, but to Michael as well. He knew she was. “I-I h-have no regrets. Th-the only regretful p-person in this room sh-should be the Queen herself! L-long live the Pr-” Christine was cut off by her head being decapitated from her body, which Jeremy did not have enough time to look away from. He choked on a sob, then beginning to gag as he looked away, having to watch his best friend die. It was disgusting and cruel to watch.

 

Next was Michael, and Jeremy knew it would hurt him to watch him go. He couldn’t watch. Though, he was paralyzed and already looking as Michael made his way up to where his sister and Jeremy’s best friend had stood to die as well. Jeremy stared at him, wide eyed and afraid. Michael had seemed to stop crying a while ago, his face was a bit puffy, but he had a determined look on his face. He then caught sight of Jeremy, looking to him with a smile that told him it would be okay.

 

“Do you have any final words to speak?” The knight asked. Michael paused for a moment.

 

“My moon, I will be with you always. It is forever you and I.” Michael spoke slowly, still looking to Jeremy.

 

Jeremy had managed to close his eyes before the sword cut his head from his body.

 

It was his time now, everything felt slow. He had made his fall to the ground, yet it still felt as if he was falling. As if he could not get away from the miserable feeling of falling. His light was gone, his candle was blown out, he was left in the total darkness. Even if his mother let mercy on him, Jeremy would simply be unable to live without the people he had left.

 

As he walked to his death, he thought of the other people in his life. He wondered if Jenna wished she could say something, if she wanted to stop all of it. He wondered if Rich and Jake would suffer the same fate, he wondered at least for Rich, it was more likely for him to be found out than Jake. Jeremy wished he could have warned him about being careful more often. Jeremy thought of Madeline, but he didn’t want too. Even the name made him disgusted. She did not deserve the crown, which is what he assumed she would inherit. Silena would be left alone, with a psychotic sister. Perhaps she would not even remember her older brother and other sister, she would probably not remember Jeremy, chasing him around the castle and laughing at his jokes.

 

Jeremy felt the time slow down, the walk was talking longer than he thought it would. He wondered if he was the problem, if he walked too slow. However, Jeremy had been present for a few executions once his responsibilities as Prince began, and they would speed prisoners along if they walked slowly.

 

He wondered if it was just reduced to him being a prisoner, he wondered if he even had that title. His mind shifted to Michael, the last words he spoke, he spoke them directly to Jeremy. Jeremy need to respond, no matter if he could hear or not.

 

Suddenly, he was in the place where he would die. In the place where Daniella, one of his closest friends had died. In the place where Christine was cut off mid sentence by a sword, his childhood best friend had died in the middle of her last words, not being deemed worthy to finish them. Of course, he also stood in the place Michael stood to die. He thought of nights spent on the roof, or of mornings watching the sun rise. He thought of Michael kissing him all over his face when he wanted to see Jeremy smile. He thought of Michael holding his hand in the forest. He thought of being held by Michael, being loved by Michael. He simply thought of Michael.

 

“Do you have any last words?” the knight asked him.

 

Jeremy had too many last words to speak, but knew he needed to say them. “Erase me from existence if you wish, burn every record of me, burn every record of him, but it will forever and always be Michael and I. I will be with him always, to me, he burned like the sun.” Jeremy spoke calmly. Something he didn’t think would happen in his final moments.

 

Jeremy calmly tilted his head down and close his eyes, letting the darkness finally consume him in his final moments.


	2. Nineteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life number nineteen between Michael and Jeremy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok i tried to look up slang and fashion in the 1920s??? So????? I gave up like halfway through writing it. Also what are consistent updates lmao

The life Jeremy led wasn’t a very interesting one. He had grown up in New Jersey, his best friends being Christine Canigula and Rich Goranski. Christine had dreams of being on a stage, or perhaps even in movies, just a new thing that was currently produced. Though, her favorite thing was acting live. Jeremy had wanted to be a journalist more than anything, and Rich? Well, he was the pusher of the group. He didn’t care what he did with his life unless it was with Christine and Jeremy, and apparently Rich’s friend Jake. He was quick to move all four of them to New York. None of them had protested, they all decided doing an out on a limb sort of thing would definitely change their lives for the better. Packing everything up was a different story.

 

“Chrissy, did you see what box of all my pictures?” Jeremy asked. He turned back to look at Christine. Christine and Jeremy had been best friends ever since she had moved into his street. Not a lot of people wanted to even look at her when they were children, and Jeremy didn’t understand why. When he was a kid, he didn’t understand why his mother tried to drag him away from her every time he had tried to talk to her. Eventually, he was able to after carefully sneaking away from his mother to talk to her. He learned her name, her age, and what school she went too. Unsurprisingly, they went to different school. After that, Jeremy introduced her to Rich. The three had been a trio since. It wasn’t easy to get his parents to let the two even be friends, it took even longer to let them go to each other’s houses. Jeremy thought it was awful of his family to do so, looking back on all of it.

 

“Yeah!” Christine smiled, looking back at her best friend before turning and picking out one of the many boxes on his shelf. “Jeremiah, your box of most treasured pictures.” Christine giggled, faking a british accent as she spoke. She held the box out carefully, although nearly dropping it for a reason Jeremy was not sure of.

 

Being handed the box gave him gave him an odd sense of deja vu. The box was incredibly old. In fact, he found it in the attic of his house many years ago, completely empty. He wondered if anything ever held them. When Jeremy asked his father about it, he explained the box was from a royal ancestor, and it had been passed down in their family for generations. Jeremy was allowed the wooden box, and he put his most cherished items, from pictures of Rich and Christine to just notes the three of them passed in class. “Thank you.” Jeremy nodded, shaking off the memory and odd feeling. The box was engraved with some kind of symbol, he wondered what it meant. It looked handcrafted as well, being lined with golds and silvers, all that Jeremy adored and had polished himself. It felt right to take care of the box holding his most precious memories. It was probably the original intent. He wondered why no one in his family had ever used the box, it was crafted so beautifully, despite looking hundreds of years old. Jeremy brushed his hand against the engravement on top, getting flashes of a castle, a smiling man, and the night sky. He nearly dropped the box. It had never happened before.

 

“So? New York! I can’t believe we let Rich drag us into this.” Christine laughed as she taped another box of Jeremy’s things closed.

 

Jeremy looked up, tuning back into the conversation. Jeremy frowned a bit, putting the box away in another box. “Really? I always figured that we would live together. I didn’t anticipate having Jake there with us, but he’s a pretty hip to the jab kind of guy.” Jeremy said sarcastically.

 

“You just don’t want him to take your spot as Rich’s best friend.” Christine rolled her eyes, turning to him and crossing her arms.

 

“Maybe. Does that make me a bad person?” Jeremy asked, looking back at her.

 

Before she could answer, the door burst open, Rich standing in front of Jake. “The truck is here and everything's Jake!” Rich grinned.

 

“Will you ever stop using that slag? Just say everything’s okay.” Jake smiled playfully.

 

“I said, everything’s Jake!” Rich said, now wildly gesturing to Jake himself. Christine giggled at this, Jeremy cracking a smile as well. Jeremy forgot about the box that held pictures and notes. He taped off his last box, and with the help of his friends put it in with the rest of his friend’s things. Jeremy had a feeling everything would change after leaving New Jersey. Jeremy didn’t think he would mind all that much.

 

\---

 

The next thing the four new adults knew, they were all in New York. Rent was cheap, they were able to all live together. Jeremy for one was happy to be away from his family, he loved his mother, but she could be a bit much for him to handle at times. There were of course only three rooms in the apartment, and Rich suggested he and Jake become roommates. Jake was the first of them to get a job as a teacher, everyday when he would come home would either be complaining about how exhausted he was too Rich or was spent gushing about how adorable his students are. Christine got work for a new play a month into being in New York, unsurprisingly. Christine was the most talented person Jeremy knew, after all. She deserved the job. Rich begun working at a bar, and that just left Jeremy to be unemployed.

 

It wasn’t like he had no intentions of not working. He wanted that journalist job. He wanted to write articles on the front page, he wanted to get people their news as soon as possible. He wanted to write more than anything, but he didn’t have any passion in writing fictional works. He was known as a “fact strict man”, according to Rich. 

 

“I have no idea what I’m gonna do.” Jeremy complained, huffing a bit. “We’ve been in New York for what? Four months? I’m the only one without a job!” He exclaimed to Rich.

 

Rich smirked a bit, nodding. “You know, there is an opening at the bar I’m working. As an opening act.” Rich brought up.

 

“Opening act? Like- like performing?” Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow. Jeremy had done his fair share of community theatre with Christine, but he’s never performed alone, and has never planned on it. “Oh Rich, I dunno-”

 

“C’mon Jerry! At least check the place out. Enough giggle water to get four crowds of people drunk, good pay, boss doesn’t care about schedules. You’ll love it.” Rich assured him.

 

Jeremy sighed a bit, nodding. “Fine. I’ll at least check it out.” he agreed. Jeremy was met with a slap on the back and a hearty laugh.

 

\---

 

Why Jeremy had agreed to this he had no idea. Why he even bothered with agreeing with Rich he had no idea. After meeting Rich in first grade, he had always knew there was something strange about his shorter friend. Rich was loud, very loud. He was very proud of himself, even if others never approved. Getting into arguments with Rich was proved early on, a bad idea. Their worst argument had once lasted months. It took Christine that amount of time to get her best friends on good terms again. Jeremy had arrived at the bar with Rich, though a weird part of the bar was that it was unnamed. Jeremy asked the owner, Jenna, what she named her bar but he was met with a weird look and a confused glance sent to Rich.

 

“Honey, do you know where you are?” Jenna asked gently. The bar seemed to be normal at first glance. It was pretty elegant, red velvet seating, dimmed lighting and clean paint the color of black. There was a stage, made of light wood and red curtains. Jeremy studied the scenery around him, It seemed the more he looked around, the more things he noticed were just  _ off _ . There were men sitting at the bar, but some men had their hands on the thighs of other men. There were women, but the women seemed to be flirting with each other. This made Jeremy flush red as he looked back to Jenna.

 

“What is this place?” he asked, startled.

 

“You didn’t even mention it? Did you even hint this was a space for other homosexuals?” Jenna hissed at Rich, giving a glare.

 

Rich held his hand up. “Frankly I thought he figured it out with me and Jake.” he shrugged.

 

“Wait- you mean- you can  _ do that? _ But I- I’ve seen you with women!” Jeremy said, utterly shocked.

 

“You can love both genders equally.” Rich shrugged.

 

Jeremy was about to ask another question, when there was a tapping on the microphone. All eyes turned to the stage. A girl with pale skin, brown hair and green eyes, along with a deep purple shirt and- she was wearing  _ trousers _ , begun to speak. “In just a moment you will be hearing personally my favorite musician and a good friend of mine sing. You all know him as Michael Mell, King of New York Jazz. Give it up for the man himself.” she said. She sounded the standard amount of enthusiastic, and walked off the stage, next to a blonde woman who she threw an arm around, holding her close. 

 

A man in a dark red suit walked onto stage. At first it was all Jeremy could see. Though as he stepped into the light, Jeremy thought he looked amazing. His black hair was styled to look messy, yet at the same time neat. His cheaters were rounded and complimented his facial features well. Seeing his completion, Jeremy wondered if he was from the Philippines or Mexico, but Jeremy brushed it away, simply not caring. The thing that stood out to Jeremy the most was that it was the man from his weird encounter with the box. The smiling man, who wasn’t smiling. He seemed so sad as he looked towards the bar of people. He looked so lost. The man, Michael, didn’t speak. As he sung, his voice was perfect. His voice complimented the jazz accompaniment wonderfully, and in the moment, Jeremy could barely breathe in air. All he wanted to breathe was the sound of Michael’s voice. A voice like that should have been heard by the world, not just some underground bar for homosexuals.

 

“I think you and I have something in common about men and women.” Rich smirked. Jeremy barely heard him however, deciding on downing his drink, desperately clinging onto Michael’s voice instead, as Michael sung a song of loss, sadness, and hopelessness. He decided he wanted the job.

 

Jeremy had probably had three drinks. That was it, really. Three drinks wasn’t bad for an average man to consume. For Jeremy however, in short it meant he was zozzled. Though to put it other words, he was absolutely shitfaced. Rich had invited Michael over, since after drink one, Jeremy accepted the job from Jenna. Rich was taking care of the bar, and poured Michael his drink as he walked over. “Mike!” Rich cheered, sliding the tall glass over to him. “Amazing set tonight. Absolutely astonishing.” Rich commented with a smile.

 

“It was nothing.” Michael waved, taking a sip from the glass. Jeremy looked at Michael, and up close he was definitely the guy from his weird flashback while holding the box. Just now he had shorter hair and no smile. 

 

“You!” Jeremy exclaimed loudly, causing half the bar, Rich and Michael included, to stare at him. Rich looked amused at his drunken friend, knowing he was going to make a fool of himself as he usually did while drunk. Michael looked concerned and confused mixed together as Jeremy pointed at Michael. “You are my  _ dream man _ .” Jeremy whispered

 

Michael’s look of concern grew. He only nodded and gave an awkward smile, leaning over to Rich. “Who’s this egg?” he asked quietly.

 

“This is Jeremy Heere, your very intoxicated opening act.” Rich smirked. “Jeremy, buddy, if you can understand me in your drunken state, your dream man is named Michael Mell.” Rich said slowly.

 

“Shut up,  _ Dick _ .” Jeremy said, slurring his s in shut up. Jeremy usually called Rich by ‘Dick’ instead of Rich when extremely drunk. Rich quirked an eyebrow, but backed off. “You have a voice of an  _ angel _ .” Jeremy said, poking Michael’s chest and leaning forward, almost falling on Michael. Jeremy was lucky enough to have caught himself. “And I  _ know  _ you. You’re the smile man from the box!”

 

Michael’s look of concern morphed into confusion. “Pardon?” He asked.

 

“You’re so beautiful in person.” Jeremy mumbled. “And you sing sad songs. Sing happy Mikey.” Jeremy smiled, shutting his eyes, falling on Michael.

 

“Rich, your drunk friend fell on me.” Michael called, poking Jeremy’s shoulder, his hand being lazily swatted away. There was a small mumble Michael couldn’t make out, but he didn’t poke him again.

 

“Take him to your place or something, it’s closer than mine.” Rich called back. Michael grunted a bit as he lifted Jeremy up, pulling him out of the bar and into the night.

 

\---

 

Jeremy awoke with no memory, a killer headache, and felt as if he was going to be sick. This was why he never drank, he remembered. Jeremy groaned a bit, opening his eyes and seeing the fresh daylight. He was on a couch that didn’t belong to him, a pale green blanket wrapped around him with care. He blinked a bit and checked his surroundings, finding nothing familiar. The nausea in his stomach grew, but he hoped he wouldn’t throw up. It would be awful for the carpet. However upon further inspection, he found a bucket next to him. Jeremy promptly vomited into it as soon as it was in his hands, and soon enough the sickness dissipated, leaving him with a dry mouth and a killer headache. Jeremy heard footsteps, and a woman with long dark hair and brown eyes walked into the room, taking the bucket away from him. She was beautiful, she looked so caring. Her dress was casual, it was pink and a floral dress as well. He became flustered, realizing he didn't know this stranger, despite her feeling so familiar 

 

“Ah good, you’re awake. Michael was worried. Are you a friend of his?” the woman asked. Jeremy’s first assumption was that this was Michael’s wife. An odd feeling of what seemed to be unexplainable jealousy filled him.

 

“Uh- N-no, I uh- I-I think I met him last night. Are you uh- are you his- his  _ wife? _ ” Jeremy stuttered out.

 

The woman gave him a look before she burst into laughter. She laughed for about thirty seconds before sighing to herself. “Oh honey, no no! I’m his little sister. Daniella Mell. You are?” She asked expectantly.

 

“I uh- J-Jeremy. Heere. Jeremy Heere.” Jeremy smiled awkwardly, waving. Jeremy looked back to the bucket of vomit in her hands and begun to wonder if she was going to take it out.

 

She followed his eyes, remembering what she was holding. “Oh! Please give me one moment. Can I get you anything while I’m up? My sister Madeline is making breakfast with our other sister Silena.” Daniella offered.

 

Usually, Jeremy would refuse a stranger for anything but she seemed so kind and trustworthy. He couldn’t help but ask, as if they’ve known each other for years. “Water’s fine.” Jeremy nodded. She nodded back, disappearing into another room down the hall. Their living room was quite small. It was painted a pale yellow, the carpet floor being a burnt red. The paint was chipped, and there was a lot more natural light. Looking out the window into the summer morning, Jeremy saw a few fluffy white clouds in the bright blue sky, it hurt to look at. There were several chairs and a bookshelf in the corner of the room, however most of their books seemed to be for children. The books were all torn up or obviously used, there was not one book in the room that looked brand new. There were also dolls and a cardboard box acting as a dollhouse, some stuffed animals tossed around the floor as well. 

 

After a few minutes, the man from the stage, Michael, had come into the room holding a glass of water. He offered it to Jeremy, and he took it, giving a quick ‘thank you’ before going to chug the water.

 

“Small sips.” Michael advised, which Jeremy followed. Michael looked so familiar as well, and he couldn’t help but feel like he should know him. He should know them all, he should but he didn’t. The feeling ate at Jeremy as he awkwardly drank his water. “You were pretty far gone last night. You rambled all about how I’m some guy from a box.” Michael chuckled. Of course it was short lived as Jeremy almost spat out his water.

 

He forced himself to swallow. “Oh my gosh I cannot believe I said that.” Jeremy mumbled, facepalming. “I have no idea what that means.” Jeremy lied, sighing a bit.

 

“You also called me your dream man.” Michael smiled slightly.

 

“You sing a lot of sad songs.” Jeremy changed the subject. “Have you- have you always sung sad songs?” he asked. Michael’s expression changed to one of sadness. It looked longing. His deep brown eyes moved from Jeremy’s face to the ground. The look he had was one that he recognized from the night before, lost. 

 

“No I- they weren’t always sad songs.” Michael frowned. Jeremy was about to say that he didn’t need to say more, but Michael continued. “I used to have my mom and dad. They moved here from the Philippines, learned English, and taught us both languages. They worked every day to support us and I would only see them on Sundays. Every Sunday, the six of us would go up to a lake I can barely remember the name of and have a picnic. It was all so perfect.” Michael said, looking off and smiling slightly. “Then they- they uh- they never came home one night. I suspect it’s because of my career and my whole identity. They encouraged me to follow my passions and to be myself. In my line of work and considering where my job is, not a lot people take kindly to that. The police say they were both shot. We didn’t have enough money for a funeral, so they were just buried in the grave they had reserved for themselves a few months earlier.” Michael finished. “Ironic that they planned their death a few months before they died.” he chuckled lifelessly, a few tears brimming his eyes.

 

Jeremy couldn’t relate to most of Michael’s story. His father had passed when Jeremy was eight years old, sure, but neither of them would love who he was. Aside from that, his father died of cancer. He wasn’t murdered. His mother barely supported him on being a journalist, if she ever knew about his performing career, he would be dead. His mother hated when he brought Christine and would refuse to feed him dinner for a week until he was ten years old. He couldn’t relate to having two amazing parents being taken away from him. “I lost my dad when I was eight and it’s felt like I’ve lost a mother since then. I know how hard it is for all that to happen to someone, and it doesn’t help when people offer condolences.” Jeremy spoke softly, his voice barely being above a whisper.

 

Michael turned back to Jeremy, wiping his eyes. “I don’t even- I don’t know why I told you all that. Barely anyone knows about it. I just- I wanted to tell someone who I thought would listen.” Michael clarified. “I’m really sorry about talking about it and wasting your time.” he apologized.

 

“No! Don’t- don’t apologize. I uh- my mom and I have an awful relationship. She hates me, I’m pretty sure she has since I met one of my best friends, Christine and was so stubborn, continuously bringing her over until she would get over it. It got to the point where I begun living with Christine. Rich did too, but then we moved here. A- A week ago in fact. I’ll even tell you more about my life. Rich was always super popular and I was always picked on by his friends. I would go home with bruises and cuts and my mom would tell me it was my fault for letting them pick on me. It’s always been that way. She hates my want to be a journalist, and if she knew that I was working as an opening act in any place, much less that bar she would- I don’t even know. My guess is kill me.” Jeremy rambled.

 

“Why are you telling me all this?” Michael asked after it had seemed the rambling had ceased. Jeremy laughed nervously, taking another sip of his water.

 

“You just opened up to me about a tragic part in your life. I figured uh- I figured I should tell you about some parts of my own life. As a fair trade thing?” Jeremy raised his eyebrows. He knew Michael, or, at least he felt like he did. Felt like he should. Jeremy wanted to tell him anything and everything he wanted to know.

 

Michael smiled a bit, and was about to say something before there was a knock on the wall. There stood a tall black haired woman with full, red lips and a scowl on her face. Her dress was emerald green and it was plain, she seemed so angry. As if Jeremy had done something awful to her, despite he knowing he had never met this girl in his life. She gave Jeremy a feeling of unsafety, like she was going to kill him in his sleep if he wasn’t careful. She gave his a sense of familiarity as well, but in the worst possible way. In a way that Jeremy wished he couldn’t feel. “Breakfast time boys.” She spoke, giving a false smile to her brother and a glare to Jeremy before swiftly exiting the room. 

 

Jeremy looked back at Michael with a confused look, but he knew deep down he probably looked scared as well. She had been a big contrast to his other sister Daniella. “That’s Madeline. She’s very rude to our guests.” Michael clarified, saying the last part loud enough for her to hear. Michael turned back to Jeremy. “Come on, the wonders of Wonder Bread and pancakes await us.”

 

“Wonders of Wonder Bread?” Jeremy rose an eyebrow. Michael laughed a bit, sitting up from the couch. He took Jeremy’s hand, helping him up. Another flash of memories came through. Memories of reading letters by a candle light, the paper being parchment and being treated with care. Memories of a ball, regal suits adorning Jeremy, the suit being different hues of blue and different designs, at the ball speaking to Michael and Daniella, both siblings having an identical smirk on their faces. Memories him and Michael in a green forest, standing in the middle of a few trees, the sunlight filtering through to show small shadows of leaves dancing on the forest floor, Michael holding Jeremy as Jeremy hugged him and cried. Jeremy didn’t realize it, but he pulled back harshly, and as soon as he did, the trance ended just as quickly as it came. Jeremy couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move for a moment, before he forced himself to shake his head. “Did you see that?” Jeremy asked, looking back up at Michael.

 

“See what?” Michael asked, a confused look on his face. Jeremy was about to explain when a little girl of seven came into views.

 

“Mikey, Maddie said that she and Ella are gonna start breakfast without you if you don’t get into the dining room.” the little girl spoke softly.

 

“Actually, I uh- I think I’ll just go home.” Jeremy said nervously. Setting his water down on a nearby table. He looked around the room, anywhere but Michael. If he looked at Michael, Jeremy assumed there would be another flash. Another bit of memories that Jeremy shouldn’t even be viewing. Memories that shouldn’t exist.

 

“Your home is across town, isn’t it? Stay for breakfast, I’ll at least take you to the train station.” Michael offered.

 

“No! I mean- No thank you. Staying the night has been enough and I-I don’t want to overstay my visit.” Jeremy reasoned, laughing a bit out of nervousness.

 

“You laugh weird.” The little girl observed.

 

“Silena!” Michael scolded. “She’s in a phase. Says anything and everything.” Michael explained. “Really, you should stay Jeremy.” Michael said, his eyes softening a bit. Michael put a hand on his shoulder, and Jeremy braced himself for another flood of memories. They never came. Jeremy sighed in relief a bit, but nodded.

 

“Yeah, I guess I don’t have another place to be.” Jeremy shrugged, earning a smile from Michael. It was a small smile, but Jeremy knew deep down it was real. He could tell  it was, for some unexplainable reason he knew it was a true and genuine smile. He knew it was a smile that said everything was okay. He didn’t know how or why, but he did. 

 

“Great!” Michael said, taking his hand off his shoulder.

 

\--- 

 

The next thing he knew, he was in their dining room. The air smelled of pancakes, the light seemed to stream into the room through three windows. The table was an average size, able to sit at least six, maybe eight if a few extra chairs were pulled up. The wood on the table was dark, though most of it was covered by a light green table cloth. Over the table hung a light, but Jeremy wasn’t sure if it was ever used or not. The walls matched the living room, being painted the pale yellow and the floorboards being a light brown color. Jeremy was sat across from Silena, who seemed to be eying the pancakes with a hunger only fit for a child her age. Next to her was Madeline, who occasionally gave him dirty looks, as if just his presence offended her. At the head of the table, right next to Jeremy, was Michael. On his other side sat Daniella, who was currently piling on three pancakes, something Jeremy copied, hopefully not taking too many. Jeremy also took a slice of toast, eating it plain, the only way he liked toast. He also used some syrup for his golden brown pancakes, although Jeremy was picky about how much he put onto the hotcakes.

 

“So, you’re going to be working with Michael? That’s very exciting.” Daniella smiled. Jeremy turned to her, flushing out of embarrassment. Before he could reply, he was cut off.

 

“Well considering the job has brought such bad luck on our family, it’s only fitting you arrive.” Madeline smiled sickly, taking a bite from her toast.

 

“Madeline, be kind to our guest.” Michael said, he seemed bored, as if thus were a regular occurrence.

 

“Yeah Maddie! You’ll never get married with a big mouth like that!” Silena said, much more passionate about her words, sticking her tongue out at her older sister.

 

Jeremy looked back to Michael, who was stifling a laugh. Daniella took charge. “Silena! Where did you hear that language? Was it Ms. Winters? I told you not to spend so much time over there.” she scolded.

 

“I’m sorry Ella.” Silena apologized, “But Maddie is bein’ real rude to our guest, even if he did throw up.” she said, turning to Jeremy. She gave a smile without her two front teeth. “You’re a cute guest, you can stay forever!” the little girl grinned.

 

“Oh- I uh- that’s really sweet but I don’t know about forever.” Jeremy shook his head, a smile still on his lips. He felt awful telling Silena he couldn’t stay, he wanted to stay forever but he couldn’t figure out why.

 

“So, are you passionate about performing?” Daniella asked, changing the subject, seeming to know that he was uncomfortable.

 

“Well um- no? I’m really more of a writer, but I know a few songs and I-I’ve been in front of an audience and wh-while jobs aren’t opening up every second, my friend Rich got me the job.” Jeremy explained.

 

“Ah, not even passionate about the arts. So if you got death threats and your parents had to pay the price I’m guessing you wouldn’t be okay with that, golden boy?” Madeline asked, glaring at Jeremy.

 

“ _ Madeline. _ ” Michael warned sternly.

 

“Oh no, it’s alright.” Jeremy waved off, a flash of anger and resentment filling him as he looked at Madeline. “To answer your question, my dad has already passed and my mother is in New Jersey, and would disown me if she knew about the singing career. I would be the one paying any price.” Jeremy crossed his arms.

 

The rest of the breakfast was spent in silence, Daniella collecting their dishes once finished, Michael leading Jeremy outside. “I’m sorry about my sister. We all handle grief differently.” Michael apologized.

 

Jeremy shrugged. “It’s okay. I kind of understand.” he shrugged. Jeremy looked up at the sky, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. The sky was dotted with large gray clouds of fluff, the sun peaking through the clouds momentarily. For a second everything was quiet in the city, something that Jeremy missed from his small town in New Jersey.

 

“You were really freaking out before breakfast.” Michael nodded, “Do you want to talk about it?” Michael asked. For some unknown reason, Jeremy blushed a bit, stopping in his tracks. Jeremy stopped him as well, holding onto Michael’s arm. As expected, images flashed. This time it seemed like a different period in time, not really a royalty setting. All Jeremy could hear was the sounds of gunshots. He saw Michael, smiling weakly, blood on his his hand, the blood pooling from Michael’s abdomen. He seemed to be looking up at Jeremy with a look of peace. A look of contentment. He reached a bloodied hand to Jeremy’s face and Jeremy let go of Michael.

 

“Did you see that?” Jeremy asked. Michael gave him a look asking if he was insane. “You saw none of that?” he repeated.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Michael furrowed his eyebrows. Michael looked attractive confused, Jeremy mentally noted. His eyebrows creased together, his lips pouted slightly, his deep brown eyes were softened. It was like staring at a painting. Jeremy pushed the odd thoughts away. 

 

“I- I can only try to show you. Don’t think about it and grab my arm.” Jeremy nodded. Michael’s look of confusion deepened, though he followed the order.

 

“Is there something supposed to be happening here?” Michael asked. Jeremy groaned, not getting anything either. Jeremy shook his hand away and walked forward without Michael. “Hey, you don’t know where you’re going!” Michael called out.

 

“I don’t mind where I go at this point. I’ll see you tonight!” he called back.

 

\---

 

Jeremy ended up finding a train station and riding a block from his shared apartment. He walked in after walking and standing all day, all he wanted was to sleep. Upon entering, he saw Rich reading the News. “Rich, can you wake me up an hour before we leave?” Jeremy asked.

 

“Sure thing, Bluenose.” Rich nodded. Jeremy rolled his eyes at the nickname. He was too tired to give a clever comeback, and decided to let him get away with it this one time. He entered his plain room, the white walls uneasing him, Jeremy had grown quite attached to the yellow, peeling paint in Michael’s house. Jeremy’s bed was a plain blue, but was still warm enough to sleep in. Or at he at least figured it was. Jeremy crawled under the blue layer of blankets and fell asleep.

 

_ The dream was peculiar, to say the least. He was in a mansion, almost nothing was familiar. He was kissing someone. He was grasping on the person as if they were his life support. The lips were the only familiar thing that Jeremy could grasp onto. He was smiling, being pressed against a warm couch, he was trying to pull him closer. He was longing for him to be near him, despite being as close as possible. Eventually, Jeremy needed to breathe. He tapped the back of the person’s face, causing him to open his eyes, a smile still present to his face. Jeremy instantly knew who the person was, it was Michael. Michael cupped Jeremy’s cheek and the two gasped for air. _

 

_ “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we did not need to hide in this way?” Jeremy asked, seemingly against his own will. Michael shrugged at this, leaning down to kiss him. Jeremy pulled away quickly. “Would you still love me if this wasn’t all a secret?”  _

 

_ “Jeremiah, only a fool would not love you.” Michael stated. “Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.” _

 

_ Jeremy threaded his fingers through Michael’s hair. Jeremy pulled Michael down slightly so his lips would be near his ear. “You are a lovesick fool.” he whispered. Michael smirked at this, kissing Jeremy’s neck, earning a squeal from Jeremy. He giggled after the squeal was let out. Michael pulled back. “You know I laugh when you kiss me there!” Jeremy pouted. _

 

_ “And it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. More beautiful than the finest orchestra.” Michael countered. Jeremy wanted to stay in the moment for as long as possible, it was everything he could have possibly wanted. The moment seemed so perfect, just Jeremy and Michael against it all. _

 

_ “I love you with the entirety of myself.” Jeremy mumbled, looking up into Michael’s eyes. Jeremy ran his thumb across the smooth surface of Michael’s face. He wanted to never forget him, he wanted to get lost in the man before him. _

 

_ “And I love you with all of my heart and soul, and nothing will ever change that.” Michael smiled, leaning down for another kiss. _

 

“Come on Jer, we leave in an hour.” Rich shook him awake. Jeremy finally woke up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Finally. You have to rehearse tonight.” Rich told him. Jeremy looked out the window, seeing the gray sky has become darker. He nodded, sitting up as Rich left. Jeremy looked to the table beside his bed, the box that had induced visions in the first place. He wondered if he and Michael were soulmates, with the dream of another time and the memories. He knew of what the rumors were of past lives with soulmates, once you met them, all you could see were visions of them until you and your soulmate were finally together. The trouble was, only one person had knowledge of the other being a soulmate. Jeremy grabbed the box, and as if his muscle memory had taken over completely, he opened it and proceeded to take out every picture, putting them on the small table. He proceeded to lift the bottom, revealing a secret compartment with a few letters. He reached out to read the first one.

 

_ My dearest Jeremiah, _

 

_ This letter may never reach you. If you do read this, you may be asking why, and that is because you sleep by my side. Yes, you have fallen asleep against the hard book we were reading so late in the night. Your snores, while obnoxious and loud, possibly waking the entirety of the castle, are still somehow endearing and wonderful. How is it that you are able to be so wonderful? How is it that you can be so effortlessly kind and beautiful? You will one day make an excellent king, and probable father. I only hope I can live up to your standard of parenting with a child, perhaps our child. I really do adore you, Jeremy. I cannot begin to process the love I have for you, the love you have given to me. If all will go planned, I will spend the rest of my life as yours, and you will spend the rest of your life as mine, as if we are not already at the phase. You are my moon, my beautiful moon that I will shine with light for all eternity. I hope one day we may finally live out our lives together freely. Moon, you are everything. _

 

_ Forever the sun,  _

 

  1. _Mell_



 

Jeremy’s breath hitched. Now he was sure that the two were soulmates.

 

\---

 

Jeremy arrived at the bar with a few minutes to spare, Jenna pointing him to a back room. He entered, finding the woman who introduced Michael the night before. She was dressed now in a purple and dark blue dress, wearing a black hat and matching purple gloves. Her brown hair was pinned up, her arms were crossed with an annoyed expression on her face. She seemed to burn this fire Jeremy didn’t want to step too close to.

 

A blonde woman, however, seemed to not shy away from the fire. She in fact seemed to welcome it. The blonde woman was dressed in a yellow dress with a light blue cap to match. Her lipstick was red, compared to the other woman’s who’s was bright pink. She gave Jeremy a smile. “Hello! You must be Jeremy Heere. My name is Brooke Lohst, pleasure to meet you!” she said, turning to the brunette woman. Brooke smiled nervously, nudging the other woman. “Chloe, say hello to our new act.” Brooke smiled gently.

 

The brunette, Chloe, studied Jeremy. She nodded a bit. “Evening.” she said carefully. Chloe turned back to the desk, sitting down. 

 

“Chloe is a woman of few words. We’ll be writing your songs, helping you rehearse, that sort of thing.” Brooke smiled brightly. In a way, she was a light. She reminded Jeremy of the some kind of light, not the sun, but bright. Maybe some other star. “So, what would you like to sing about?”

 

Jeremy thought about the question for a moment. “I want to sing about my soulmate.” he nodded. Chloe turned to him, a slight smirk, possibly a smile on her face. 

 

“Ah, so you’re the one who remembers. That explains it.” Chloe smirked. Jeremy’s eyes darted to the floor. How could she possibly have known any of that? He wondered what she meant by her saying  _ that explains it _ , when he didn’t know himself.

 

Brooke gave a confused look but shook her head. “Let’s begin working.” she smiled at Jeremy, a hint of nervousness still on her face.

 

\---

 

After a few hours of songwriting and rehearsing, Jeremy was absolutely exhausted the only brightly colored room in the building had never seemed so dimmed. The once lively green colors of the wall and the cream couches seemed to lose all color. Who knew singing and writing songs was such a tiring process? Aside from that, they barely had half of a song. He laid on the couch, being on break, finally, eating candy Rich had given him upon going to the bar, stating that he was no longer allowed to drink. Jeremy studied each painting on each wall, seeing nothing new to catch his eyes. Then there was the door opening and closing. Jeremy lifted his head, spotting Michael. It was as if the gray clouds parted to let Michael Mell shine through. If Jeremy was the moon, then please Lord let Michael be the sun. Michael smiled at the three of them. “Chloe, Jeremy, and Brookie!” Michael greeted them with a wave. “I’m going on in twenty, so I gotta warm up. In case you want to watch the show.” Michael winked.

 

Chloe and Brooke both laughed. “Mike, we always stay for warm ups.” Brooke smiled.

 

“But not tonight. I promised Jenna we would survey the guests.” Chloe said. “But Jeremy can stay all he’d like.” she shrugged, linking her arm with Brooke’s. She gave Jeremy a look of knowing. “We’ll watch your set, Mikey.” Chloe promised, before saying goodbye and leaving with Brooke.

 

Suddenly, Jeremy was alone, with Michael, something he had never expected to happen here. What did Chloe even know that Jeremy didn’t? Or maybe he did know, and he just couldn’t catch on. Jeremy sat up, still eating a few Mike and Ike's. He chucked at the name of the candy. “I wonder, did you happen to make this candy with some guy named Ike?” Jeremy teased, popping a few of the candies into his mouth. Michael rolled his eyes, smiling. Jeremy put a few in the palm of Michael’s hand.

 

“Yes, Ike was a lover of mine, and we decided to show our love through amazing candy that I could never dream of.” Michael joked. Jeremy grinned at the joke, watching Michael eat the candy. He looked so handsome, he was so elegant. The clothes he wore were probably expensive, the tuxedo he was wearing seemed so formal. Jeremy didn’t own anything close to it. Aside from that, his cheaters framed his face perfectly, and when Michael turned his head, he was revealed to have the jawline of a God.

 

These were probably the most homosexual thoughts Jeremy has ever had. He couldn’t help it when his cheeks began to burn up. Michael seemed to notice, but brushed it away for the time being, doing a few vocal warm ups. Jeremy loved his voice. It was golden. It was beautiful, smooth, he was born to fit the part of a singer. He should be playing different clubs every night rather than the one they were at now. Jeremy’s voice seemed so awful in comparison. Well, it was more just awful anyways in his own opinion.

 

Jeremy stared at Michael, and he didn’t notice. He well, he maybe didn’t care. Jeremy hoped that was the case. He wanted to stare at Michael for the rest of his life, he would if he could. Michael stopped singing apparently finishing all his warm ups.

 

“You’re so good.” Jeremy sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. Jeremy looked back at Michael. Michael’s cheeks were tinted a shade of red but Jeremy knew it was probably his mind tricking him. 

 

“I was barely warming up.” he smiled, darting his eyes away. 

 

“No, your voice should be heard by everyone everywhere. Not just to a few people lucky enough to listen.” Jeremy replied. He stood up, still a few in inches shorter than Michael. He gently directed Michael to look at him. “I mean it. If you dream of making music, you should do it. You’re simply amazing.” Jeremy smiled

 

Michael looked away from him, though quickly looked back. “Not everyone needs to see me. I’m perfectly content with my little world here.” he smiled, stepping back a bit. Jeremy smiled shyly, realizing he probably made Michael uncomfortable, it all just seemed natural. He wasn’t trying to hold him so close, it was as if his muscle memory had some kind of new mind of it’s own. He wanted nothing more than to hold Michael as close as possible. Jeremy rubbed his eyes. 

 

“Right, it’s your choice. I just think you’re spectacular.” he said. Suddenly, the door opened. Jazz could be heard from outside the door, flowing into the room.

 

“Five minutes Mikey!” Brooke beamed. “Jeremy, I saved you a spot.” she said, directing her attention to him. She gave a final nod before closing the door.

 

“Okay, well I should go see about that seat, but uh- don’t underestimate what you can do.” Jeremy advised, slipping outside of the door before he could say or do anything stupid.

 

\---

 

The next couple of week, Jeremy worked on a set, a few songs he became happy with. He rehearsed them every morning before the bar officially opened, and wrote songs every night. He often watched Michael, and at times, he would help with his songs when Chloe and Brooke had their days off.

 

“So all your songs are about loving someone you barely know.” Michael brought up one night.

 

Jeremy flushed instantly. “All your songs are about sorrow and loss.” he countered, turning his face to be anywhere but looking at Michael.

 

He couldn’t see, but Michael rolled his eyes. “And I have told you why that is.” he pointed out. “You have yet to tell me any of the inspiration behind your songs, why they’re all about a certain someone.” Michael rose an eyebrow. Jeremy wanted to desperately tell him. He wanted to tell him who he was singing about, he wanted to tell him about his dreams that he constantly had, the letters he would read every night before he fell asleep, asking Brooke and Chloe to be off on the same days so he could have moments like these all alone, but Jeremy was terrified.

 

“They are about uh- my friend! My friend Christine.” Jeremy lied, nodding and blushing profusely. Jeremy noticed a look of disappointment spread across Michael's face, but it didn’t go away. Jeremy knew his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him anymore. Jeremy sighed a bit, “That was a lie.” he admitted quickly and quietly.

 

“What? Then why do you-” Michael began to ask, being cut off by Jeremy’s lips clashing with his own. Jeremy felt butterflies and a sense of familiarity as they kissed. Neither pulled away, in fact, Jeremy decided to tangle his fingers into Michael’s hair. Jeremy moved closer, Michael dragging him onto his lap. Jeremy felt the feeling of Michael’s warm tongue swiping on his bottom lip. Jeremy let out a quiet moan, his mouth opening on it’s own accord. Eventually, Michael pulled away. Their faces flushed and both boys breathless, Michael let out a quiet “oh”. Jeremy’s eyes widened, before he scrambled off of Michael

 

“Gee would ya look at the time? I should be going it’s my time to go see you later bye!” Jeremy rambled, over the course of the sentence inching towards the door and running out of it completely after saying ‘bye’.

 

“Jeremy! Buddy, why in such a hurry?” Jeremy heard, turning to the bar. Rich was behind the bar while Jake sat on a stool near it.

 

“See you guys at home!” he said instead, seeing Michael come out of the room he was just in. Jeremy quickly walked out of the door, breaking into a sprint once he had reached the night outside. He ran to a street corner, his lungs burning due to never exercising in the slightest.

 

\---

 

As soon as Jeremy got home, he was slightly calmer. His face was still red and he ran all the way upstairs, but overall he was calmer. He sighed a bit, slumping against the door. He hung his head down, gasping for breath. “You’re home early.” a voice rang through the apartment. Jeremy’s head shot up, seeing it was only Christine. He sighed in relief.

 

“Oh thank god it’s only you.” Jeremy grinned. He then remembered what he had done before at the bar, quickly shuffling to lock their door.

 

“Jeremy, why are you locking our door?” Christine frowned, walking towards him. The shorter girl crossed her arms, waiting for his explanation.

 

“I kissed my soulmate and he’s going to-” Jeremy was cut off.

 

“He? Oh thank god you’ve figured it out.” Christine sighed.

 

“Not important!” Jeremy hissed, “He could be arriving to talk to me about what happened! Rich could have given him our address!” 

 

“Would it be so bad?” Christine asked, tilting her head. “To talk to him? I know how much you dislike confrontation, but it could work out.” Christine shrugged. “Wait, he kissed you back, right?” she asked.

 

“We almost did more than kiss.” Jeremy mumbled. “What if he remembers? You know what they say, once the one who remembers kisses the one who forgot all will be resolved? What if he knows?” 

 

“Then that would be good!” Christine nodded. “Jere, you’re being a bit irrational here. You can and should be happy, maybe this is the beginning to all of that.” she pointed out. Just then, there was a knock behind Jeremy. In that moment, Jeremy learned how strong and fast his best friend really was. Christine was able to push Jeremy out of her way as soon as the knock sounded, and was able to open the door with ease. “Hello!” she greeted cheerfully, as if she did not just send Jeremy flying to the floor.

 

“Is Jeremy here?” a voice asked, one Jeremy instantly recognized as Michael’s one giveaway being that Michael chuckled a bit to himself upon saying it. “I uh- I really need to talk to him.”

 

Jeremy began to crawl away. “Of course! He’s right on the floor! Come in!” she said, stepping back to reveal Jeremy low on the ground, pausing mid escape. “I have errands to run. Good day!” she smiled, winking at Jeremy before leaving.

 

“Why are you on the floor?” Michael asked after a few seconds.

 

“Why aren’t you?” Jeremy retaliated. “Look about the incident, I’m really-”

 

“I liked it.” Michael interrupted. “And I’m interested in you. You’re like this part of my life, a part that Iife I feel like I should keep.” he continued. “When you kissed me it was like everything locked into place. As if it was something saying that this was it, that this was supposed to be my future. I want you to be with me.” Michael finished. 

 

Jeremy scrambled up from the ground, his face completely red. “Look, I have the memories.” he blurted out. “Bits and pieces. Dreams, sometimes when I touch you I get flashes. I’ve found letters from them. But each life, Michael? Each one ends terribly because of who we are and because of our love. I want to be with you, but I can’t let you die.”

 

Michael paused for a moment, as if mulling it over. Finally, he nodded. “I want to experience this with you. I don’t care what kind of fate we suffer. Loving you will be worth all my time.” Michael finalized. Jeremy smiled at this, he always said something like that each and every time. And each and every time, Jeremy couldn’t say no. Instead of saying something, he hugged Michael tightly, holding onto him as if he was the last meaningful thing in Jeremy’s life. In a way, he was.

 

\---

 

No one ever amounted to Michael, Jeremy decided. He had a few girlfriends in high school, but they all seemed like they could never live up to Michael. Even his ex girlfriend Sylvia Jaes, who was a beautiful girl who cares for Jeremy more than anything while the two were dating. Jeremy loved how familiar and kind Michael was. The two constantly spent time together, something that Jeremy never grew tired of. Often, they were alone during the day in Michael's house, until it became three o’clock and Michael had to pick up Silena from school.

 

“So what did you learn in school?” Michael asked, both him and Jeremy swinging her by the arms as she giggled. “Did you play games? You didn’t backtalk your teachers?” he continued.

 

“And you made things right? You know I love your paintings.” Jeremy nodded at Silena.

 

“Well,” she dragged out the ‘l’, “I did happen to maybe make a drawing of my family.” Silena confessed. She looked up to Jeremy with a big smile. “I’ll show you when we go home.” she added.

 

The rest of the walk was short, and when the three got home, Silena instantly made both Jeremy and Michael leave her in the living room alone. “I have to do some important things!” Silena had told them, sticking her tongue out at Michael who had asked in the first place. “You’ll love it! Now leave!” she ordered. The two ultimately listening and going into Michael’s room. Michael sat on his bed, the black blanket contrasted the white walls. The walls were plain, aside from a few paintings.

 

“Do you paint too?” Jeremy asked after studying a few of them. Michael had gone red, looked away and nodding.

 

“I also draw a lot.” he shrugged.

 

Jeremy nodded, sitting down next to his lover. “Have you ever drawn me?” he asked.

 

Michael paused, “Well, not on purpose.” he answered slowly. Jeremy stared at him, silently asking what he meant by ‘not on purpose’. “Okay, before we met, I would draw a lot of people, just random faces that I would think of and you happened to be mostly what I drew.” 

 

Jeremy processed what was said. “You mean you’ve been drawing me without even knowing me? And you’ve never brought this up?” he asked, crossing his arms. 

 

“Hey, you’re the one who has letters in my handwriting.” Michael defended. “I burned them all anyways.” he added with a mumble.

 

Jeremy took Michael’s hand, he was about to say something when they both heard Silena. “You guys can look now!” she beamed from the doorway. So, the two men walked out to the living room, spotting on the table two bracelets woven messily but still with care, one being blue and the other being red. There were a few pictures on the table as well. One had “my family” in big letters at the top. Unsurprisingly, all of Silena’s siblings were listed, and what took Jeremy back was seeing that she had put him in the picture. His heart warmed, he never had a little sister, and it made him happy to see Silena thought of hin as an honorary brother. The next picture was of a heart, and the last a butterfly. “Do you guys like it? I made the bracelets for you.” Silena spoke up.

 

Jeremy carefully picked up the blue one, beaming. “I love it.” he told her. “And your drawings are just so beautiful.” he noted, tearing up a bit, looking back at the drawing Silena made of her family.

 

Michael picked up the red bracelet, putting it on and hugging the small child. “Thank you.” he said softly.

 

“You’re welcome Mikey!” Silena grinned, hugging him back.

 

\---

 

Until Daniella and Madeline got home a couple hours later, Michael and Jeremy were drawing with Silena the entire time. Jeremy draw a heart for Silena, which earned him a gasp and a loud “you love me?” said with a large smile. Michael had drawn Jeremy and Silena, giving it to Silena. Jeremy attempted to draw Michael, but according to Silena it looked more like Michael in a disaster situation.

 

Once the other sisters got home, Madeline scowled as Daniella smiled. Jeremy wasn’t sure, but he thought he had heard Madeline say under her breath something awful about both of them. Jeremy went home, mostly so he could get ready for work. It wasn’t his second time performing, but it was his first time performing with Michael. The two decided to be thorough about their small show duet, Both of them would be well covered, and the idea was that no one knew it was them until they heard their voices. When Jeremy arrived home, he arrived to Jake under Rich and on their couch.

 

“Rich? Why are you- Okay.” Jeremy shook his head. Rich and Jake pulled apart, both of them looking unphased.

 

“Jere, we’ve talked about this.” Rich deadpanned.

 

“Yes, I was talking about why are you here? You should have been at work twenty minutes ago.” Jeremy sighed.

 

“Shit!” Rich exclaimed, scrambling off of Jake and leaving out the door.

 

“So, you really must like Michael.” Jake noted. Jeremy shrugged, sitting down next to him. “Which one of you has the memories?”

 

“I do.” Jeremy shrugged. “You and Rich-?”

 

“I have them.” Jake nodded. “It took me so long to find him last time. It’s actually a relief to have been with him sooner.”

 

“I really hope it doesn’t end in death again.” Jeremy admitted. “If he dies for me again I- I don’t know what I’ll do.” Jeremy teared up, looking away from Jake.

 

“Hey, it won’t end that way.” the other soothed.

 

“Every single time it does.” Jeremy shook his head. Tears fell down his face one by one as he spoke. “Just for once I would love to it be me and him, no judgement, no hatred, and no death.” he sobbed.

 

“No one can promise you that,” Jake began. “You need to be the one controlling your future with Michael. If people show judgement and hatred, turn them away. The only thing that should matter is what you believe. What or who you love, that’s all that should matter.” Jake noted. Jeremy thought for  moment, wiping his cheeks and nodding.

 

He should only care about what he believed in, what he loved. If he died in the process, he would be content dying at the side of his lover.

 

\---

 

Jeremy had gotten to the bar thirty minutes early. He did nothing in particular, mainly sitting at the bar until he needed to get dressed and warm up his voice, which he promptly did. He was always so nervous before opening for Michael, he knew that Michael was just so breathtaking, he could never live up to it. Usually the bar had a happy and excited vibe to it, but darkness seemed to loom over everyone. Bad energy was almost everywhere, he wondered why everything felt so dark. Then he came to a realization.

 

He needed Michael immediately.

 

Jeremy walked into the dressing room, quickly getting into costume. He would go on with Michael first. The hat he wore hid his eyes, and under the dim lights he would look unrecognizable, just as Michael would. Michael was all he could think about. Just as the door swung open, Michael looked carefree. Even happy, a contrast to when they first met. Hopeless, lost, sad. That was three words to describe him before. Michael immediately noted something was off. Already in full costume, Michael rushed to Jeremy’s side with concern spreading across his face. “Jeremy, what’s wrong?” Michael asked.

 

Jeremy tried to keep his tears at bay, he didn’t even know if his prediction was right. Jeremy stared into Michael’s deep brown eyes. They once looked dull, as if all life and happiness had abandoned him. He was so different now, and Jeremy was the reason for it. He couldn’t tell him what was wrong. He had to let this happy Michael live a bit longer. Jeremy shook his head instead. “Nervous.” he answered, which was the truth. He was nervous, really nervous. There was no way in hell anyone would enjoy Jeremy singing with Michael, and he would probably mess up and fall off stage or something.

 

“Hey, we’ll do great.” Michael assured him.

 

“Michael, why do you love me?” Jeremy asked suddenly. Michael was obviously taken aback by the question, and Jeremy instantly regretted saying a single word. Jeremy was truly wondering, however. He had let both of them die over and over again. There was no way either of them would get to live out the life they spoke of every day. The life of being married and old with children. There was no way they would ever have that, and most of the time if not all of it, it was Jeremy’s fault. 

 

“You’ve done so much for me.” Michael smiled weakly. “When we first met, I was in an awful place. I thought about joining my parents daily. I was only living because of my sisters. Silena needs me to grow up. Daniella would go crazy if she was with Madeline everyday, and Madeline gave me talks of how they all needed me. I didn’t want to live before we met. But I’m glad I lived past that. Because if I hadn’t, i would have never met you. I was so broken. I was alone, but you put me back together and showed me life was worth living.” 

 

Jeremy smiled, no longer able to hold back his tears as he tackled Michael into a hug. He held onto the taller one as if he would never see him again if he didn’t hold on as tightly as possible. “I love you.” he admitted between sobs, still clinging to Michael.

 

“I love you too.” Michael sighed, Jeremy didn’t need to look, he knew Michael was smiling. Jeremy pulled away from the hug, wiping his face from his tears. Michael kissed his forehead, adjusting Jeremy’s hat. “Let’s warm up.” 

 

\---

 

Everything went so horribly wrong before Jeremy could even sing his first word. Michael had walked out before him onto the stage, after having no introduction, simply just music beginning to play. Michael didn’t get to sing either. Before he was able to say anything, a gunshot was heard and Michael had fallen. The shouts between customers drowned out Jeremy’s, as he ran onto stage and clutched him tightly. He looked out in the crowd, spotting Madeline. The crowd was disappearing at an alarming rate. He turned back to Michael, who was half dead. “No, no no no  _ no.”  _ Jeremy pleaded. “Not again, please not again.” he shook his head. Tears began to pool in his eyes, Jeremy held onto him as if, once again, he was the most important thing in the world. And he was. As Jeremy held onto the other, he sobbed as images flashed in his mind. Some of the exact same thing happening now, and a few others where Jeremy was the one to die.

 

Their plan to live out their lives was unrealistic. He knew that and so did Michael. Everything was against them. But most importantly, Madeline was against them. Jeremy sobbed harder as Michael put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “M-Mahal kita,  Jeremy.” he said weakly. Jeremy shook his head, he knew what it meant.

 

_ “Mahal kita.” Michael has mumbled against him as they lay in Michael’s bed. Jeremy turned towards Michael, still wrapped up in his embrace. Michael opened one eye before laughing a bit. “It means I love you.” he told him. Jeremy flushed. He wondered if Michael meant it, but knew he probably did. Why else would he say it? _

 

_ Sudden realization that Michael was probably waiting for Jeremy to say it back had dawned on him. “Oh. Um- Mahal Kita too?” Jeremy said, butchering the phrase completely. Michael laughed. Each and every time Michael laughed, he swore he could hear bells ringing behind it. The laugh was so joyful, he was back to being someone who smiled a lot. Jeremy became someone who smiled and laughed a lot as well. Jeremy joined Michael in laughter, the two in fits of giggles. In the moment, it was as if nothing mattered. _

 

Jeremy clutched Michael closely, being unable to say anything. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat. Jeremy looked up, seeing Madeline herself. She looked haunting, her clothes were all black, as if she had begun the mourning process before it had even started. The look on her face showed no remorse. Jeremy wondered if she felt anything at all. Well, she must feel hatred. “You.” he said, spitting out the word as if it were a poison. He noticed the gun in her hand, and she pointed it at Jeremy.

 

“Me.” she confirmed. Madeline had always been against them. Madeline always hated Jeremy, and there was nothing he could ever do about it. Michael always tried but it never worked. Madeline was set on other goals, all that ended in their deaths. “You made me kill him. I thought he was  _ you _ .” Madeline spat. Her voice was sharp, as if she had spent the majority of her life anticipating killing him. Jeremy had a feeling she knew what she was doing, shooting Michael first. Her own brother, the man who had loved her when no one else would.

 

Jeremy wasn’t so sure someone as twisted and dark as Madeline could be loved. He wondered what caused her to be so cruel, no, what caused her to be so diabolically evil that she would kill her brother in almost every single life. “You knew what you were doing!” Jeremy exclaimed. He looked around, he had not seen Rich. Hopefully he had gotten out alive. Jeremy knew how devastated Jake would be. And Christine, what would she be doing if Jeremy died? Would Rich take care of her? Maybe she would be completely okay.

 

“I didn’t know shit!” Madeline hissed. “You took him from us, from all of us. You’re the one who caused this.” She shook her head. Madeline seemed so set on this, on killing him. As if it were her goal. Maybe she remembered something Jeremy didn’t, he was so unsure. 

 

“I’m not the one who shot him.” Jeremy spat. “You’re sick, evil, manipulative. I don’t think you ever loved your family.” he shook his head. Madeline pressed the gun against his head. Tears were still streaming from Jeremy’s eyes. He glanced down at Michael, seeing his eyes be truly lifeless. It gave Jeremy a feeling of sickness, he looked back up at Madeline.

 

“I did love them!” Madeline yelled. Now tears were streaming down her face. Progress. “Then my parents died because of Michael. And now he’s dead because of me. And soon enough, you’ll join him in hell!” she sobbed, shaking her head.

 

Jeremy paused for a moment, before laughing and sobs collided to make a sound he had never heard come from his mouth. “You’re going to have to go home and tell Daniella. Tell Silena. You’re going to have to tell them you killed him.” Jeremy taunted.

  
“Maybe so, but at least I’ll have wiped scum like you from this earth.” she seethed. Jeremy knew what was going to happen. He held Michael close to him as the shot fired, all there was left was darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for killin the boys again dw tho they'll live out their lives together eventually

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this made you cry or something?? But don't worry they won't be dead for long this is literally a reincarnation fic soooo  
> Don't be afraid to leave kudos and comments are my actual life source!!! I love all of you sm


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